Do you wish you could freeze time?


growing up so fast

Do you constantly wish your children would stop growing up so fast?
I do. All the time.
Hell, I write it all the time on this blog!
It feels like a blink and BAM, another slew of years slip on by and I’ve got a teenager whose voice is breaking and who wants to go on the train into town with his friends and doesn’t need me to do anything.

And I lament ‘oh where has my baby boy gone? Where are the days where he held my hand/sat on my lap/snuggled into my neck and fell asleep while watching back to back episodes of Ben 10?’

I miss chubby hands in mine, needy arms reaching up for attention. I miss little voices singing TV theme tunes for shows I’ve grown to dread because I’ve watched them over and over and over and over.

I saw a post on Instagram recently from Renata at thefelfis about her children growing up so fast.

Here’s what she said: “Most of the time I’m fine.. But sometimes and some days I have moments which I feel so sensitive and all I want is to cry. My reasons are usually related with the time passing by too fast. About the things that I have no control about. About my kids growing up, me getting older. I really try to do the best of my days each and every day but this anxiety just consumes me. I want badly the time to slowdown!!!”

Yes, I thought. Yes, yes yes!
But no. Wait a minute. When I thought about it I’m not that sad. Because actually the preteen/teen years are proving to be pretty awesome too. Challenging sure, but then so were the baby/toddler/first school years.

As your children get older you watch them become more independent and it’s a joy to see. Because you think to yourself I helped that happen. My parenting is working. I did that.

You never ever think the day will come when you’re OK with them leaving home. I could never imagine myself being OK with not actually knowing where they were, what they were doing, who they were with.
But it’s a slow build not a sudden overnight thing. My 13 year old now takes himself off on the train to our local town and the first time he did it I don’t mind telling you I CLENCHED the whole time he was away. But he did it and he loved it and he loved me for trusting him to do it. And that in turn made me feel great.

So anyway, the point of all this was to say that them getting older is a good thing; an exciting thing. Don’t lament the passing of time because watching them grow is a fabulous thing. The teenage years don’t have to all be bad and just like they are going through huge changes, so will you. And it’s all good 🙂

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5 Responses to Do you wish you could freeze time?

  1. I think I must go through these two stages every day…OMG! Where has the time gone?! Where have Alfie’s cute chubby little toes gone?!…but OMG! Look at them both! RObb’s off to work and Alf’s off down the village on his bike with his mates…but OMG! Where have my babies gone?!…on repeat.

  2. Expat Mum says:

    Like you say, at the end of the day it’s not something that we can control anyway. We’re all ageing. With two of mine now out of the house, it’s often overwhelming, but they seem to be enjoying themselves so I have to be happy for them.

  3. Helen says:

    This post strikes such a chord with me. I am in a very similar place with my two and I’m so conscious with my youngest of where he is headed, and how long I’ve got in this phase. But the pride in my daughter’s growing independence, and ability to cope actually gives me goosebumps. And the slow burn thing is so true. Because she now has a really scary medical condition to deal with (and she does), it has put all my other concerns into perspective massively. It’s made me realise that – given appropriate timing, and experience – she will be able to handle pretty much anything. And so will I, despite the bitten nails!
    Helen recently posted…Travel: Why I waited 40 years to love British campingMy Profile

    • Tara Cain says:

      I think it’s such a proud moment when you realise that, actually, your kids CAN deal with life’s problems on their own.
      Her medical condition is a shitter, but it’s probably made her stronger and more capable than you could imagine and it’s amazing to see a children show that level of maturity.
      Lots of love to you Helen x
      Tara Cain recently posted…Do you wish you could freeze time?My Profile

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