I am bloody exhausted.
Between exams and homework and after school clubs and my actual job, I am spent.
I thought being the mother of toddlers was hard work; this is up another notch. Because the thing with being the mother of a teenager and a pre-teen is, things really start to matter. More than ever before.
Right now, homework is essential. Revision isn’t something you can just hope will happen as they trot off to their room. The food they eat is more important than ever. Their friendships are vital. Their wellbeing is paramount. Them being quiet and spending more time in their room makes you question everything.
You’re desperate for family time, they’re desperate to be on their own or with their friends.
And on top of all this, you have the whole social media brouhaha thrown into the bubbling mix.
I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying and questioning myself as to whether we’re doing it right. Because now it’s bloody vital we get it right. Mistakes can have much bigger consequences.
Sure I worried when they were little, but looking back I should have just chilled out and let the love flow (in the words of the Bellamy Brothers) and not worried so much.
At the moment I spend school mornings cajoling and threatening and begging one of them to MOVE and end up shouting because it’s all so rushed and stressful and THAT’S the kiss on the head they get as they leave me for the day.
I then spend the whole day fretting and beating myself up and worrying about the effect it will have on them during the day and come home to say sorry for being the World’s Biggest Heel. And I’m greeted with a screwed up face because they have NO idea what I’m talking about as it all went over their head.
But I’ll still do it tomorrow and the next day and the next day.
I’ll still torture myself.
I have one child who leaps out of bed at the sound of his alarm and another who clings on to the duvet like her life depends on it. She lies there until there is about 10 minutes until we have to leave the house then crawls out of her pit and manages to get dressed, brush her hair, (sometimes) eat breakfast and go. It’s a tad stressful 😀 #parenting
A photo posted by Tara Cain (@taralara) on
Of course, I have one child who does everything they’re told . . . but I still fret I’m not doing right by him too!
Here’s the thing. The point. I feel that right now my kids need me more than ever. I feel like the baby years, the toddler years, even the early school years I should have spent less time fretting. More time just enjoying and throwing my arms in the air and going “oh well” because really, everything turns out OK.
I wish someone had told me that. That actually it all comes right in the wash if you just throw a dose of consistency in there, add some boundaries and top it up with all the love.
Life at the moment is tough. Busy beyond belief. Relentless. Tiring.
But we’re getting there.
I am the Mother of Teenagers. Much like the Mother of Dragons, life is brutal, but very rewarding.