I don’t want a quiet house

Converse

We’re all in the car heading to Solihull for a family lunch; just the four of us.
It’s pouring with rain and we’re on the motorway so it’s difficult to hear each other speak as it is but in the back the kids are playing some game they’ve invented which seems to involve yelling and giggling as loud as humanly possibly.
It is literally impossible to have a conversation in the front.
So we stop trying.
By now the noise is so loud it’s starting to leak through my ears and is stopping me being able to even think.
I bite my bottom lip and tell myself at least they’re getting on even if getting on involves Dan pinning Mia’s head down to the centre armrest.

I’m at home on a Sunday afternoon and I’m in the kitchen pottering. All I can hear from the other room is loud football commentary, ‘YES’, “NOOOOOOOOO”, pillows being punched in frustration, the Xbox clicking and whirring and my son winning the World Cup. Or at least it feels like he must be given the amount of yelling.
We chose not to put Dan’s Xbox in his room because we want him to always be part of family life.
I’m wondering if we didn’t misjudge that.

It’s the bedtime hour and all is calm.
Except it’s not. The kids are wrestling on my bed and it seems like they’ve invented their own language because they’re yelling and giggling and doing impressions of – what I can only imagine are – WWF wrestlers grunts and victory chants.
I attempt to ask them to stop and brush their teeth but it’s like I haven’t even spoken and the noise that left my mouth has transformed into a whisper by the time it reaches their ears.
I bite my bottom lip and tell myself at least they’re getting on.

We’re in the car on the school run. Or on the way to anywhere to be perfectly honest.
We have to have the local radio station on which plays the same 12 current chart songs on a perpetual loop and the presenter’s voice and diction makes the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. It grates on me.
I feel and sound old.
Every other song elicits an ‘Oh I LOVE this one’ from the passenger seat and the volume button goes up another 5 notches.
I try to concentrate on driving.

I’m on the toilet. A voice yells from somewhere deep in the house, “MUM! MUM. MUM. Where are you mum? MUM?”
I explain that I’m on the toilet and can I just have a moment to myself.
No one hears that. They hear ‘what do you want, tell me right now’.
“MUM. MUM. MUM!”
I flush, I go downstairs. “Can I have some toast?” “Couldn’t you have just waited for me to finish? Couldn’t you have waited for me to come downstairs? It wasn’t exactly urgent.”
“Well I didn’t know you were doing something. Can I have some toast anyway?”

This is my life.
My noisy, chaotic, brain-jangling life.
It’s never quiet. I never have peace. I haven’t had peace since my son first brought his smile to our home nearly 13 years ago. Then his sister followed and it got even louder.
Life; loud and annoying and intrusive and nerve-rattling.
They never seem to stop. I’m always rushing to get out the door or driving someone somewhere or eating on the hoof or a million other things that make my head pound.
I sit down to read my book only to remember I’ve forgotten to wash Dan’s rugby kit for tomorrow/filled in Mia’s school visit form/made the packed lunches/got anything to put in said packed lunches.

But what about when they go? What about when they leave home? Will I crave the quiet life? Will I cheer for all the time I have?
Or will I wish to god I’d not let the good times pass me by by wishing them away?
So I’m not going to. I’m going to enjoy my crazy-ass life with both arms open wide and let my kids be as goddam noisy as they like.

 

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16 Responses to I don’t want a quiet house

  1. LauraCYMFT says:

    I think we all crave silence until we actually have it. What’s that saying? The silence is deafening? It definitely feels that way whenever the kids go to their Gran’s house for a sleepover. I don’t know how I’ll cope when they leave home!
    LauraCYMFT recently posted…Cajun Chicken Pasta – RecipeMy Profile

  2. Becky says:

    I think about this a lot. At the moment there’s either massive arguments or thumping music or reverbing guitars and amps, or they’re out. At college and uni, at friend’s houses and gigs and the pub (the pub!!). And it’s so quiet. And I wonder how long it will be before the silence takes over – it’s RUSHING away, the time, my friend. RUSHING.

  3. Louise says:

    I often feel bad for wanting quiet, less toys, a spotless house but I know that when that happens I will miss them lots x
    Louise recently posted…Little Man Turns 4My Profile

  4. yvonne says:

    Hi,

    I stumbled upon your website last week and I have had a feast on it. Thanks for the fab content
    About this post: It’s great when the house is noisy because the kids are having fun. When my daughters are happy and enjoying each other, like right now, I do not mind the noise or loudness of their voices. However, when the loudness of their voices or noise is due to unnecessary argument between two girls, I crave immediate silence. I find this a natural response but I may just be wrong.

  5. Kim Carberry says:

    I dream of a quiet and tidy home but then I think it will be pretty boring when the kids eventually leave home! I am actually dreading the day they do x
    Kim Carberry recently posted…Three years and I am still here….Thank you!My Profile

  6. I work at home so it’s very quiet during the day when everyone else is out. I don’t actually like it. I like the craziness when the boys are home from school – even if it totally frazzles me. And it’s so weird if one of them is away on a school trip – it’s like having an only child, and it’s so much quieter.
    nappyvalleygirl recently posted…How do you talk to your children about Paris?My Profile

  7. Nikki Thomas says:

    I love this! This is my life and I sometimes wonder what life would be like if it was quieter but it would probably be so boring.
    Nikki Thomas recently posted…Marley Spoon Family BoxMy Profile

  8. Love it, I live with three noise monsters too and it is all my own fault as when I was first pregnant I prayed that I didn’t get sent boring kids and that mine would all have great personalities. I can’t complain now really! Mich x
    Michelle Twin Mum recently posted…We’re off out for a run Mum!My Profile

  9. Susan Mann says:

    I think we dream of this, the silence and tidiness, but I will so miss it and don’t ever want it to be gone. x
    Susan Mann recently posted…Pony Club Lottie Doll Review And GiveawayMy Profile

  10. mama syder says:

    Love this post and I sooo relate to it. Mine are grown now, and the only noise my house is filled with is my fifteen year old (who is pretty loud and noisy) but my house is so much quieter than it used to be when all four kids were small. I used to feel like pulling my hair out but I miss that noise now. All I have are old videos to look back on and I yearn to jump into the screen a re visit those noisy Mum times x
    mama syder recently posted…An East of England Co-op ChristmasMy Profile

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