I think if you asked me what my biggest parenting fail is it would be the shouting. I really don’t like when I resort to it because I feel like I’ve lost control.
We all have parenting fails. All of us. Some of us laugh about them, some of us keep shtum for fear of shattering the ‘perfect parent’ illusion and some of us share them in all their glory on Facebook.
When Mia started school I had to be called by the secretary to pick her up because I’d forgotten they were only there for half a day. “Are you coming to pick your daughter up?” she asked with barely disguised disbelief.
I did the VERY SAME THING THE NEXT DAY.
Dan I pretty much just blundered through the whole baby thing without the foggiest idea, making fail after fail.
He’s 12 now and doing pretty good, so I didn’t so so badly.
So what are your parenting fails: the good, the bad and the ugly. Maybe just the ugly, not entirely sure what a ‘good’ parenting fail would look like.
I turned to Facebook for a spot of research – ah you guys, you never let me down! Read it if only to make yourself feel better . . .
Dawn Brown: I could mention the time my mum failed me lol – I was a toddler playing out in the garden, mum looked out of kitchen window and saw I was actually toddling around 2nd floor scaffolding on the building site across the road. Of course my own parenting is practically perfect in every way (if you ignore the time Zara tried to ride the wooden tricycle down the stairs)
Bryony Wilson: I locked my newborn and my keys inside my car at a shopping centre once. Baby was crying so me and my mum were pushing the car from either side to try and rock him to sleep while we waited for the RAC! People kept looking at us strangely…
Chris Mosler: There was the time when I left my trolley full of purchases with the IKEA man to guard while I brought the car round, got to the car and my eldest piped up ‘Shouldn’t we have the baby Mummy?’ I’d left him in the trolley – I thought the IKEA chap had looked a little perturbed!
Liz Grayson: Oh so many… First was in the early days and L didn’t sleep more than 1.5 hours and was screaming while she was awake. So after week 8 I was beyond exhausted. I fell asleep when I was feeding her. Woke up and she wasn’t in my arms, couldn’t remember. where I’d put her – she was on my feet. Fast asleep Second major one was when I went back to work, she was 2.5. Sitting in a meeting at 6pm my phone went off and the nice lady from school said ‘Are you coming to get L today Mrs Grayson?’ I forgot I had a child!! *mortified* set an alarm every day after that for 4pm!
Louise Fairweather: This week I was rushing the boys to school and my youngest was crying. I thought it was because we were rushing – turned out his trousers had fallen down round his ankles and he was fast shuffling. Oh and on the first day at pre school I called my son by the wrong name – twice. The keyworker very politely queried his name and I had to apologise that I was calling him by his brother’s name.
Becky Wiggins: Oh god yes I have a few. Putting Sam on the seat in the swimming pool changing rooms then struggling to get into my pre baby swimsuit only to turn around and find he’d rolled off onto the floor. I turned up in A & E with jeans over my super tight swimmers and a 3 month old child with industrial tile patterns embossed on his forehead. With Charlie we were in A &E so much they knew his name. One time I turned up in hysterics because I found him with an empty Calpol bottle after forgetting to put the lid back on and assuming he’d drunk it. Turned out he had poured it into his shoes…
Marianne Weekes: I had to take one twin at a time to the car, strap one in and go back for the other only to find I’d shut the door behind me and locked a twin inside with the house keys, my phone and bag. #panic
Emma Wright: What about putting a new pair of Clarks shoes on tho roof of the car and driving home with them? Luckily they were still there! Or on our last day on holiday with friends in Tenby we all decided to pop to the beach for a last dip. Just took wet suits, towels and buckets and spades. Then my 3 year old pooed in his wet suit! No wipes or anything. We had to try and clean him off with buckets of sea water. Totally gross and my hands stunk! What was worse was when we got back to campsite my hubby had to clean off wetsuit. Have never forgotten wipes since! Or jumping in the car to pick up kids from school and whilst standing in the playground waiting, realising you had left the baby asleep in their cot! (*that may or may not have happened!)
Wendy Vail: Walking my kids to school, 200 metres at end of street realised pram was empty, 1 yo toddling around at the top of our driveway. I used to walk him up our steep driveway then put him in pram, but totally forgot about him…
Karen Cannard: There was that awful time when I sent my eldest into school in his Tudor costume when he was in Yr 3. And I only found out it wasn’t dressing up day when the school assistant called me to see if I could quickly drop off his uniform. I was 40 minutes away and about to do a live radio interview. Ooops.
Jean Ward: So many to choose from. When my two girls were tots (1 & 3) I drove to work, parked the car and heard my 3 yr old say “Where are we going today mummy?”. They were both still in their baby seats on the backseat because I’d forgotten to drop them off at the nursery
Liz Jarvis: Having to meet a deadline and forgetting that I had the dummies boiling in a saucepan to sterilise and setting fire to it… or the time Man of the House had to take him to the garage in a tea towel because there were no nappies in the house… And the time I put him in a little rubber dinghy at Lyme Regis and he floated out to sea – towards the harbour! People were looking and getting ready to call the air sea rescue and I had to jump in with all my clothes on to rescue him. Then there was also the time when we thought he had hearing problems and were referred to the hospital for tests. Only to discover he’d wedged a fat red chubby crayon in his ear canal and had probably had it there for at least a year. Oh I could go on and on. Miracle we’ve come this far, tbh.
Libby Price: Buying your 11 year old a t-shirt with swearing on it by mistake. Or cutting the top of your 2 month old’s thumb off with nail clippers whilst trying to trim her nails…
Toni Summers Hargis: Oh god, where to begin. Trying to get the rear window in my car up. pressing the button over and over and then hearing a squeak from the back – only to discover that my 18 month old had stuck his hand out and I was actually squashing his little fingers (see, it still tortures me.) Buying same child a set of plastic golf clubs for his 2nd birthday, letting him play in the (fenced) garden with older sister, and then hearing the neighbor exclaim when she saw that he had decapitated every single tulip and daffodil with the little three iron.
And I leave the last word to Rosie
— Rosie Shelley (@RosieScribble) February 27, 2015