The Photo Gallery 213: Me


Today I am a totally different mother.
Sure, I’m older and there are a few more lines and wearing pigtails probably isn’t entirely appropriate any more. But my attitude to parenting has changed. I’ve made it change.

Being the mother of older children is a whole different ball game. It’s way way cooler.
You get to hang out together, get excited about new movies together, go scuba diving for the first time together (that’s what we’re doing in this photo) and you get to be an important part of a life that’s evolving, changing, challenging, discovering. And that is such a priviledge.

If there is one thing I have learned it is this; your time has never been more more valuable. And by that I mean, the time you give to your children.
Gone are the days when you are in charge of everything. Now my kids are discovering their  independence and it’s time for me to take more of a back seat. To be a hidden force of good in the background, ready to bring discipline when it’s needed.
Like a ninja mum.

So now I have a little internal check list to myself to:

Listen a little longer (even when I have a million and one other things to do).
Offer to help with homework, study, researching something (even when I haven’t the foggiest idea about the subject matter).
Laugh at their anecdotes (which are long-winded and usually boring but mean a lot to them).
Connect with them every day (by sitting down to breakfast together, by walking to school together, by text, by Facebook DM, whatever it takes).
Pick my battles wisely. There will be much MUCH bigger ones to come. A messy room is annoying but it’s her room and she has to live in it. And if she can’t find her iPod, well, whose fault is that?
Sit with them at bedtime and ask how their day was. End the day showing that I’m interested and I care.

Oh and the biggie. The biggest thing of all; show them you love them. Even when they don’t want to hear it or they’re sulking or they make it very hard for you to throw your arms around them. Do it anyway.

Being a mum – bloody tough; hugely rewarding.

This post is for week 213 of The Photo Gallery: The theme is: Me.
Me me me me me me!

Now it’s your turn to link up your post and join in. If you’re new here and want to know what the Photo Gallery feature is, go and read all about it, and then come right back and join in!

 You can also pick up a Photo Gallery badge code if you want too, though it’s not a requirement for joining in. But a shout out in some form would be much appreciated.
You could also subscribe to Sticky Fingers to make sure you never miss a theme; they are posted here every Friday.

Now go forth and show some big blog love. Visit other bloggers, comment on their post if you feel moved to do so, and be inspired.
This virtual gallery of photographs is about enjoying each other’s work, so go make someone’s day. You will get out of this whatever you put in.
Please don’t just link dump – this is not that kind of linky.

The link stays open until Tuesday so you have plenty of time to join in.
It’s open for absolutely ANYONE to join in – be you on blog, Instagram, Flickr or any platform where you an host a photo. But please don’t abuse it.

You can also find The Photo Gallery on: Pinterest Google + Follow Tara Cain’s board The Photo Gallery on Pinterest.

See you over there x

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29 Responses to The Photo Gallery 213: Me

  1. Dawn says:

    It's been a while but I thought this theme was a good one for a comeback 🙂
    My recent post In 2015 I will…

  2. Mirka Moore says:

    A lovely post Tara, and so true.
    My recent post The Gallery: Me

  3. sarahmo3w says:

    Lovely post and so very true! Parenting changes when your kids are bigger. It's not easier, just different and you have to keep up!
    My recent post The Gallery: Me

  4. mrsteepot says:

    oh what a gorgeous photo, I look forward to hopefully having the chance to experience the different stages of parenthood.
    My recent post The Gallery: Me

  5. suzanne3childrenandit says:

    I love the sentiment behind this Tara and couldn't agree more….motherhood is tough but so rewarding too – what a double-edged sword! I am finding it more of a challenge now they are older but am trying to live by your checklist too. Great post.

    • Tara says:

      Oh I hear you Suzanne. It's more of a challenge because suddenly it all really matters. Like what they do at school and the decisions they make and the things they say to others etc.
      It's a wonder we aren't all grey!

  6. Faded Seaside Mama says:

    This is a great topic for the Gallery. And although I know your words are more suited to parenting older children, I do believe that most of your advice is also applicable to younger children – especially those anecdotes that take so long to be formulated into meaningful language and verge on the bizarre and random (and possible made up)! But parenting can be full of joy no matter the age, as you have proved.
    My recent post Am I Good Enough?

    • Tara says:

      You're absolutely right my friend. sometimes I feel myself rolling my eyes when I get yet another story about how they did this or that at school and I have to stop myself and give myself a little talking to!

  7. I love having big kids too, it's a different world and one I really do enjoy 🙂
    My recent post One Week Later…

  8. Louise says:

    I have a half written post about looking forward to when my boys are bigger and this has just proved to me it will be good x

  9. SusanKMann says:

    What a lovely post. I always worry about them getting older, but you've made it sound like something to embrace. Love ya Tara x
    My recent post Me – The Gallery 213

  10. Kara says:

    Love the phrase ninja mum – can so see you in a mask and cloak lol. How do know what you mean though, it’s hard work but rewarding!

  11. lauracymft says:

    Lovely post and such a fab photo! Hope you all had a great time.
    My recent post Me #TheGallery

  12. Pingback: The Gallery: Me | Mymumdom

  13. libprice says:

    Lovely post.
    I am exhausted after a school trip today with our son – but experiences like that are so precious.
    Love my lot. x

  14. Sarah says:

    Beautiful photograph of you and a lovely post too. All so true!
    My recent post The Photo Gallery | Me

  15. An Organised Mess says:

    I love the checklist, and your wonderful photograph. Parenting is a learning adventure that is so impossible to learn, and mine are only 4,4,and 5. It is with a sigh of relief and a little excitement that you write about older children, that parents to survive (I remember me as a teen!), and enjoy the journey. I hope you and yours have many more adventures in 2015!

  16. anivla says:

    Post parent, living my life after kids and finding new adventures by being a temporary expat in Vietnam.

  17. Clare says:

    Tough job, hugely rewarding pretty much sums it up!
    I see my boy changing every day, and just hope that he will keep us close enough to enjoy the ride with him.
    Fab post
    My recent post The Gallery: Me

  18. love this list & one I can totally relate to, especially the long boring anecdotes, of which my daughter has many, and also connecting on FB messenger, where my 14yr old son & I end each message to each other with 'cheers pal'.:D
    My recent post Bacon, Avocado & Warm Vegetable Salad

  19. HelpfulMum says:

    Lovely post, it's so true! I am already learning to pick my battles with my daughter. She even had some toys from Santa taken away before Christmas!
    My recent post The Photo Gallery – Me

  20. Pingback: The Gallery: how to train your dragon - ENGLISH MUM

  21. For me I am finding it continues to get cooler. Parenting is a lovely, if difficult, ride isn't it.

  22. Pingback: Ramblings of An Expat Parent Abroad: Kids Skiing Trip

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