1. The central heating.
He moans that I keep turning the thermostat down. I moan that the house is like a ruddy sauna by the time me and the kids get up and I can’t bear the waste – or giving money to the energy companies.
“Did you fiddle with that thermostat again?” constantly rings through the house. So much so that the kids do that silently mimicking thing just before they know he’s about to say it. Which makes me want to turn the thermostat down even more.
2. Letting the dog on the sofa.
Because, let’s face it he’s a huge dog. And when he’s on the sofa he pretty much takes up the whole thing.
Sofa’s are for humans. Dog beds are for dogs.
He treats that dog like a baby – I’ve walked in the lounge before now to find the dog actually sat on his lap like some huge awkward elephant trying to sit on a deckchair and they both look at me with the innocence that shouts ‘he’s definitely NOT on the actual sofa’.
3. Feeding the dog from his plate.
This is a no. An ‘if it ever happens you will incur my wrath’. And I catch him doing it when he thinks I’m not looking.
4. Using me as his personal cash point.
Just go to the bloody cash point yourself for heaven’s sake.
5. Asking me if I’d like a cup of coffee.
We’ve been together for 20-odd years. In those 20-odd years I have never drank coffee; only tea. I don’t like coffee in my chocolate bars either. Because it’s coffee and I don’t like the taste. THIS HAS NEVER CHANGED. EVER.
6. This conversation
Him: “Have you seen my *insert thing he’s lost?”
Him: “You must have moved it because I definitely left it on the table.”
Me: “Well you clearly couldn’t have if it’s not there.”
Him: “I definitely did. I remember it clearly.”
He proceeds to tut and moan at me for the next half an hour.
Later that day.
Me: “Did you find that thing?”
Me: “So where was it?”
Him: Silent. Which means he found it where he left it and he was totally and utterly wrong about me moving it but there is NO WAY he’s going to admit that.
There is another version of this conversation, where he looks for something, can’t find it, I go to look for it and it’s exactly where I said it would be.
7. Being quiet in the mornings.
He gets up at 6.15 am, the rest of us get up at 7.15am. He finds it physically impossible to do anything quietly. Closing draws so they bang to, closing doors so they ‘click’ loudly, that LOUD click when you turn a light switch on on the wall.
Now if ever I have to get up before him, the MOANING if I so much as breathe loudly . . .
Of course, all of this was forgiven yesterday when for my birthday he surprised me with a new lens for my camera because he knows how much I love taking pictures of my kids playing rugby. So all is forgiven. For now.
* This is an updated list from the last time I wrote a ‘things that really irritate me about my husband’ post and was prompted by an @AimeeHorton post on Netmums: ‘When I’m Tired’ because clearly we ALL get a bit grumpy sometimes *wink*.