There is a new word in our house and that word is warfare.
That white noise when both of my children fight and bicker and ‘he said/she said’ and generally make my head explode.
Because just lately my kids fight. All the time.
I know it’s something we shouldn’t talk about as parents. Because, well, we want to airbrush it out of our family history. If we pretend it’s not happening then we can paint the picture that everything is harmonious and blissful.
But it’s not. The rowing has slowly crept up on us. And sometimes I absolutely despair. The ‘yes buts’, the ‘but he/she said’, the not talking to one another, the ‘she hit me first’.
I hear the rumblings of it start in another room and I raise my eyes to the ceiling and pray for something, anything to take the white noise away. Bickering. Nit picking. ‘I’m never playing with you ever again’.
These are two kids who were inseparable. Did everything together. But age has crept in. Dan has become more intolerant of Mia’s annoying little habits like coming into his room and fiddling with his stuff. He hates it with a passion and she knows it, and works it.
She hates when he won’t listen to her because she does ramble on and on and on. But he’s the person she wants to share things with the most.
It reaches it’s pinnacle whenever Dan has one of his friends over to play.
Sibling rivalry at fever pitch.
“MUUUUUM. Can you tell Mia to stop showing off.”
“MUUUUUM. Mia’s ruining everything.”
“MUUUUUM. Mia’s annoying us.”
Which is followed by
“MUUUUUM. Dan is being mean to me.”
“MUUUUUM. They’ve put a chair against the living room door so I can’t get in.”
“MUUUUUM. I just want to join in.”
And join in she will. I’ve pulled her from the bottom on a wrestling pile only to be reprimanded because she’s enjoying herself and I’m ruining their fun.
My tomboy who has grown up surrounded by older boys all willing to let her join in with their games (sometimes) as long as she is happy to fight/play/behave like they do.
And she will do it if it means she gets to spend time with them. With her brother.
We’ve never had this before. They’ve always played beautifully. They still do much of the time to be honest. But right now the fighting is driving me insane because when it surfaces it’s so intense.
And then I stumble on them like this. Curled up on the sofa investigating something together, or creating something, or solving something. And I hope and pray there is still hope and that this is just another one of those phases we go through.
*Thanks to Muddy No Sugar for the lovely photo of my daughter at the top of the page.