Look at that sweet face.
Today I sat in a corner and cried over this face. Cried.
Because I know deep down that we cannot let Santa visit her on Sunday.
Her behaviour has just been so bad.
Today just reached a peak and so I sat and wept. Because I just don’t know what to do.
All the gifts I’ve lovingly picked out for her, poured over, got excited about giving her, she won’t be getting.
Harsh? I don’t know.
Hubby and I have talked about it, AGONISED over it.
But we just cannot let her behaviour go rewarded.
I’ve reasoned with her, told her she will regret her decisions to do the things she has been doing come Christmas morning. But she’s not the slightest bit bothered. “Well, I’ll get the ones under the tree now,” she reasons.
I know that it’s Christmas and she’s excited and we need to cut her some slack I really do, but we cannot let her go on like this because, well, she’ll grow up to be an unpleasant young lady. And giving her presents just feels totally wrong.
I also know that, despite her bravado and ‘I don’t cares’ she will be utterly crushed to discover Santa hasn’t left her anything.
Quite frankly I find her unpleasant at the moment.
My own beautiful little girl.
There you go, that’s me off crying again.
I feel like she’s started down a path and doesn’t know how to pull herself back. When I talk to her she rolls her eyes or fiddles with her top or does something ANYTHING to show me she’s not taking in anything I’m saying.
I give her every opportunity to rescue the situation. We know telling her off just doesn’t work; has the opposite effect even.
But honestly? I don’t think we would be the parents we want to be if we let her wake up to a room full of presents in front of the fire on Christmas Day.
And that makes me desperately sad. Especially given that her 9-year-old brother has been golden.
We are hoping and PRAYING that she can pull something out of the bag in the next three days.
Mia I love you very dearly and know you will be OK. I really do.
But right now? Right now I feel like a failure as a parent and that makes me cry.