“Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies”
That’s the birthday card a good friend sent me last year!
It really made me chuckle, than I thought ‘ye gads, it’s funny because it is SO me!’ The OLD me (though not old as in aged obviously).
I was as excited as hell at kicking off a new year, new me venture but then I stand in front of the bathroom scales and want to make my excuses and run very very far away (or at least walk at a brisk pace).
If I wasn’t so desperate to make a life change, I would be outa here. So, I step on (wearing the lightest clothes known to man of course) and my son says: “wow that’s a big number!” It’s all relative, I tell him. He only weighs about 56lb which is a small number. Now quit your yacking I tell him, and get supportive!
For me, getting healthy involves moving more. Stop making buttock-shaped dents in the sofa and DO something.
So then we get sent the Wii game Dance Juniors by a lovely PR man to try out.
Dance Juniors as in the ‘baby’ version of the Just Dance series.
I am SO there. It’s got Toni Basil’s Oh Mickey on the playlist for heaven’s sake. It was meant to be.
Obviously it’s meant for the children, but mummy needs to test it out to make sure it’s safe for them or something . . .
So we switch it on and Dan starts rocking out to The Jackson 5 (you listen to the music and mimic the dance moves being played out on the screen with your remote in hand) and he gets a near perfect score without so much as breaking a sweat. Damn.
Mia opts for Magic by Selina Gomez and she’s rubbish. What? What? It’s a competition. Take no prisoners and all that.
Having said that though, she’s not penalised all that much (it is a children’s game after all) and my Competitive Gene kicks in as I think this is going to be a walk over.
I flat refuse to dance along to Old MacDonald or The Wheels on the Bus (I mean COME ON), and I inform the kids they had better not EVER click on Who Let the Dogs Out while I am in hearing range, so I opt for me old mate Toni and prepare to show the young pups just how their mama used to strut her stuff back in the day.
Still, I got a decent workout and boy did we giggle. Watching a very sporty cool kid get down makes me laugh every time and yes, I did take up his challenge at the end of the video . . .