Dear mum who walks her kids to school at the same time as me . . .

Dear So and So...I know it’s tough doing the whole ‘up in the morning, feed them, wash them, dress them’ thing every day, but slippers on the school run is just taking it too far.
Especially slippers I wouldn’t give a dog to play with.
And if you have to throw on any old thing on your way out the door, at least make sure it fits so we aren’t ‘treated’ to a glimpse of your bottom if we’re unfortunate enough to be walking behind you on that particular day.

And actually, while we’re at it, please please stop your 8 year old using swear words like some badge of honour as he yells them across the road for my 5 year old to hear. She’s 5, that’s FIVE – I don’t particularly want her to have to ask me what f*ck or b*astard means just yet thank you.

Of course I don’t mean to pry, but when your oldest son – who’s what, 11? –  is seen smoking some mornings while sat on the wall we all walk past, blowing smoke in youngsters’ faces because he thinks it’s funny, well, it’s not going to win you any parent of the year awards.

Finally, the next time either of your boys do anything to upset/threaten/intimidate my boy or any of his friends, it won’t be a letter you get from me . . .

Ta very much.

Me x

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Dear Darling Husband

It’s just as quick to open the dishwasher and put your mug and plate in there as it is to go PAST the dishwasher and put them at the side of the sink.

Ta x

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Dear printer

For the love of god, just PRINT

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