At the age of 4 you learn . . .

The art of manipulating daddy. I mean really really manipulating daddy

That mummy is a pushover for a cuddle and a pair of puppy dog eyes

That you can actually live on yoghurt

How mentioning the word ‘school’ makes mummy’s eyes fill up with water.

That money is a strange and wonderful thing. When you try to poke a £10 note between some floorboards, everyone really freaks out.

That lipstick makes you look great, even if you can’t actually get it on your lips.

How to use an iPhone better than either of your parents.

That putting nail varnish on mummy’s white duvet cover = a telling off

To cuss.

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