Mia: “Mummy, only all the children in the world are allowed to climb. You know, like trees and fences and stuff.”
Me: “Oh, OK. Why’s that? I quite like climbing, am I not allowed?”
Mia: “No, cause all the adults have to hold the children’s stuff while they’re climbing.”
Me: “Did you enjoy the panto with school?”
Mia: “Yes. It was great.”
Me: “What was the best bit?”
Mia: “The coach journey.”
“Mummy, I don’t ever want to learn to drive. I like to sleep in the car and it would be dangerous to do that if I was driving so I’m not even going to learn.
“I don’t need to really, cause you can take me everywhere. And if you can’t then daddy will have to. And if both of you can’t I’m sure I’ll be able to find someone who will.
“I’ll probably learn to drive when I’m about 60. I don’t mind putting the petrol in the car for you though. How old do I have to be to do that?”
Mia: “Why does nana’s dog have boobies?”
Me: “It’s for her puppies to feed from. They get their milk from there. Like you and Dan had your milk from me when you were little babies.”
Pause for thought.
Followed by uncontrollable laughter.
More uncontrollable laughter.
Mia (suddenly serious face): “I did stop having your milk didn’t I?”