So what the hell happens at 5?

Mia’s answer to everything these days is: “but I am 4.” Emphasis on the am.

She says it like a statement, like it’s something that should be at the forefront of our minds at all times.
She wears it like a badge. To her it is as though the day she marked her fourth year on this earth some unwritten milestone was achieved that allows you into previously forbidden gateways.

We are at the supermarket and I say: “Mia, would you like to sit in the trolley?”
She looks at me with a half smile, some would call it wry but, you know, she’s only 4, and she cocks her little head on one side and says all exasperated: “Mummy, I am 4 you know.”
She says it like she’s showing me infinite tolerance.

I try to strap her seat belt on for her in the car.
She slaps my hand down as if I’ve done something really naughty and declares: “Mummy! I’m 4!”

I say: “Mia, you are being such a lovely and grown up girl.”
She says: “I am 4 mummy.” I add no exclamation to the end of that sentence as she says it without raising her voice, without irony (I would not put it past her) and like she’s explaining the most basic of facts to me.

She has said it so many times since her birthday now it’s become funny and adorable and endearing.
She has said it so many times she has even started to shorten it to simply ‘I’m 4’ whenever the mood takes her.

So this morning, we are sat having breakfast and I say: “Mia, why on earth are you wearing your new boots with your pyjamas?”
She rolls her eyes like I’m totally missing the point and declares in a little sing songy note (while shaking her head): “4”.
And for all the world it sounds to me like a teenage: “Durr”.

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19 Responses to So what the hell happens at 5?

  1. Dave says:

    LMAO. She probably thinks you're so old that you've forgotten what it's like to be 4. Hehe. And don't misunderstand me here… I'm not suggesting you ARE old or anything. 🙂

  2. Lawyer Mom says:

    I'd happily be four again if it meant I could wear new boots with my pajamas.

  3. Kimberly says:

    I'm totally using that at work tomorrow. WHy didn't you iron that shirt? I'm 37! 🙂

  4. Tracy says:

    So sweet! I'm hoping when my 3 year old turns 4 he'll decide to finally let go of being 2. He insists that he is only 2 years old and still a baby, you know, the kind of baby that gets to chew gum and sneak a turn on his brother's Nintendo.

  5. Bel does this but its more like "When I'm 6.. I'lll be able to do this then"!

  6. "I am 4, you know!" Priceless. When you've patronised by a four year, you really know you've been patronised.

    What happens at 5? All hell breaks loose! Well, not quite, but they do seem to turn into miniature teenagers if dudelet is anything to go by, right down to sitting in his room with the lights off, telling us that he wants to be left alone.

  7. OMG- mine's only 1! Can't help but think of Lola (as in Charlie-and-) when I read this….

  8. Elsie Button says:

    that really made me laugh! what a funny girl!

  9. It will only get worse. Wait 'till she's 14!!!

  10. Mwa says:

    That's so cute. My two are going the opposite way, wanting to be treated like babies for a bit. Cute, but also tiring.

  11. Tara says:

    Oh to have a 4 year old's dress sense eh?
    Mine has dressed herself in red knee-high socks and white sandals and also favours her swimsuit with boots.
    I am clearly in the shadow of her fashion genius

  12. Tara says:

    Good idea. I can do the: "I'm 4 (tee)!"

  13. Tara says:

    But the one silver lining in my cloudy day is that I will never ever be as old as you . . . .

  14. Tara says:

    That is one smart child in the making. I'll bet it's all part of his cunning plan and you are playing right into his hands.__Have you ever seen Family Guy. Love that little Stewie!

  15. Tara says:

    What are you doing? You are supposed to come over here and tell me that 5 is a much more calm, reflective age when they finally settle in to their skin and there will be no more screaming 'MUMMY!' at the top of her lungs from where ever she's decided to pitch herself in the house.__I'm looking to you for hope DWW!

  16. Tara says:

    Rosie Rosie Rosie. Don't do this to me. I feel like I'm at the end of my tether now, another 10 years and who knows what state I'll be in!

  17. I am totally saying 32 the next time someone asks me a stupid question.

  18. Paradise says:

    This was so sweet, it made me laugh. She sounds just like my "teenaged" 5-going-on-15 daughter…

  19. MTJAM says:

    Aw bless her. My nearly-three year old keeps telling me he is a grown up, and getting very upset when I contradict him. We've settled on a compromise; he's a 'very grown up little boy'! x

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