Case study 1:
“Mummy, where did flowers come from?”
“Well they grow from seeds.”
“I know that, but where do the seeds come from?”
“From the flowers.”
“But before there were any flowers where did the seeds come from? Imagine there is a world and there are no plants or flowers in it, now where did the flowers come from?”
I desperately try to rewind my mind back (cough cough) a few years back to my biology lessons but for some bizarre reason all my memory is flooded with is how to dissect a bullock’s eyeball and a diagram of how the human kidney works.
Dan is bored of waiting. He’s clearly been thinking some more on the subject.
“It’s like babies. I know they start out as seeds in your tummy, but how did the seed get there? Who put it there? Was it God? And how did he get it in there? . . .”
Suddenly the contents of the kitchen bin are utterly fascinating and oh my goodness look at the time, it’s time to run the bath.
Case study 2:
“Why did you and daddy move to this house?”
“We wanted to have a bigger home and bigger garden ready to start a family.”
“Were we not at the old house then?”
“No honey, you were born while we were living here.”
“So how did you know you were going to have a baby when you moved here? How can you plan it like that? Do you have to go into hospital so they can put it inside you?”
I do that surprised, slightly shocked look of someone whose mobile phone is vibrating and they don’t know where it is. I pat my jacket pocket and swiftly pretend to answer and say ‘hey nana, sure we’d like to come over’.
I’ve had near misses in the ‘where do babies come from’ stakes before, but I fear distraction isn’t going to work for much longer.
And he’s too bright to fall for ‘it’s God’s way’ or ‘the stork did it’. Or ask your daddy.
I know there are many of you who must have been through this. I need you now.
H E L P.