Do you smack/spank?

As I was making the really tough decision between buying fresh corn on the cob or broccoli for tea at our local supermarket one summer afternoon, I was jolted from my daydream by an angry mum berating her daughter.

The girl would have been no more than 7 and the mum no more than a girl.
She was clearly at the end of her tether and, while holding her daughter firmly by the wrist, she shouted “I’ve had enough of this. You’ve pushed me too far.”
She had a wobble in her voice, but her face was red with rage. Then she slapped the back of her little girl’s bare legs. Quite hard.

I winced.
Sure, I’ve been in that situation where I’ve been driven mad and anger is boiling up inside me like some raging volcano about to erupt.
But I have never hit either of my children in public.
In fact, I have never hit either of my children in private either.

I know this is a thorny issue. Some parents feel a smack is OK as long as it’s controlled and not done in anger. Some feel that a quick spank will shock them into stopping their naughty behaviour long enough to listen and understand.

I was reading a post over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife on this subject recently and mums’ comments ranged from “I totally believe in a spank as a last resort” to “we totally believe in spanking: it’s a must for small children” and even “spank if they are doing something dangerous”.

For the record, no form of hitting will ever be used as discipline in this house.
It’s just not for us.
I have used a miriad of techniques to bring my two into line when they misbehave. Timeouts and stickers worked a dream for my son. His little sister, not so much. She was far far more challenging and required some creative thinking!
Above all else, consistency is the key and it has worked for us.

Call me soft but I don’t want my children to grow up believing that hitting – in any way shape or form – is the answer when things aren’t going your way.

Plus, the look on that little girl’s face when her mum slapped her for all to see was heartbreaking and the thought of either of my children ever looking at me that way would be too upsetting.

I would really like to hear your thoughts on, what I know is a very sensitive issue.

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68 Responses to Do you smack/spank?

  1. Karen Redman says:

    Have only ever smacked my little boy once. He was sticking wet little fingers into an electrical socket & I needed to stop him very quickly. He was about 4 years old and the smack was more of "a pat" – but it did stop him & he never did it again. I cried for hours after I'd done it & felt that I was the worst mother on earth. Never did it again. On the whole, he's a good little chap & we don't have too many time outs. An occasional grounding from use of computer or watching TV keeps everything running smoothly.

  2. Karen Redman says:

    All that said, if you'd like to read my latest blogpost at http://redmummyrambleson.blogspot.com/, I had to ground Josh over the weekend for a very frightening bit of 11 year old behaviour!

  3. Nicola says:

    Such a good post Tara. I have a temper and have physically over-reacted with Johnny Drama – and have smacked his bottom probably 3 times in his life. It is the most shameful and regretful thing I have ever done. I always instantly apologise – not that that makes it acceptable. We do talk about anger and how hitting should never be acceptable – but I haven't been the best role model this past year. Far from it. And it never works in resolving an issue – it just confirms to the boys that mummy has lost it and it terrifies them.

  4. Mum Gone Mad says:

    I have smacked, and each time I did it I felt like a complete failure. It did nothing other than shock both me and my son (eldest) and didn't help correct any behaviour or sort out any problems. I also knew that when I was so angry all I could do was lash out, that it was me that had the problem. As it turns out I was depressed and it was my inappropriate anger that alerted me to something being horribly wrong. I haven't smacked anybody for such a long time now and I'm so pleased about it.(Although I did throw a cold cup of tea over my nearly teen at one point :S bad mummy!)

  5. Mum Gone Mad says:

    I have smacked, and each time I did it I felt like a complete failure. It did nothing other than shock both me and my son (eldest) and didn't help correct any behaviour or sort out any problems. I also knew that when I was so angry all I could do was lash out, that it was me that had the problem. As it turns out I was depressed and it was my inappropriate anger that alerted me to something being horribly wrong. I haven't smacked anybody for such a long time now and I'm so pleased about it.(Although I did throw a cold cup of tea over my nearly teen at one point :S bad mummy!)

  6. PrettySprinkles says:

    I don't smack at all and will never. I remember being smacked as a kid, one for each syllable of the point my parents were making and again to 'stop my crying or I'd get something to cry for'. I am an explainer parent. My daughter is only 3 but I hope to stay that way…

  7. Maternal Tales says:

    Very good post. I really wish I could say that I had never smacked my children. I have done once – and, as you say, the look on my child's face broke my heart – and so did her reply to me when I apologised – 'That's ok Mummy – I will forgive you, but I will not forget'. (She's only 4). I will never do it again.

  8. Tawny says:

    I have overreacted a couple of times and have smacked K, but I have found the threat of having her posessions taken from her is far far more effective.

  9. Tawny says:

    I have overreacted a couple of times and have smacked K, but I have found the threat of having her posessions taken from her is far far more effective.

  10. notSupermum says:

    Very interesting post, and a controversial subject too. I don't like to use smacking but my girls are that bit older now and they would probably smack me back. But when they were younger I did smack on very rare occasions, and usually out of frustration. The number of times I did it can probably be counted on the fingers of one hand, but each time I felt terrible afterwards. I found it easier to discipline using my tone of voice, and my girls know that no means exactly that, no.

  11. notSupermum says:

    Very interesting post, and a controversial subject too. I don't like to use smacking but my girls are that bit older now and they would probably smack me back. But when they were younger I did smack on very rare occasions, and usually out of frustration. The number of times I did it can probably be counted on the fingers of one hand, but each time I felt terrible afterwards. I found it easier to discipline using my tone of voice, and my girls know that no means exactly that, no.

  12. Reasons to be Cheerf says:

    I remember giving a couple of rather pathetic smacks on the bottom. One of mine was a very tricky toddler, not that that's an excuse, and I was verbally 'all out' so to speak. I knew it was pointless and not the type of person I am, or wanted to be so when all else failed I would ask her to go to her room when she was in a rage. Only once she'd (and I'd) calmed down could we move on. Little did I know at the time, but it's taught her a life skill – temper control! If she feels herself winding up now, she'll go off and have a word with herself and she finds she gets a much better result when she's reasonable (she's nearly 13 now). We have to find ways to deal with the different personality types our kids have, that's the really tricky part of parenting.

  13. Reasons to be Cheerf says:

    I remember giving a couple of rather pathetic smacks on the bottom. One of mine was a very tricky toddler, not that that's an excuse, and I was verbally 'all out' so to speak. I knew it was pointless and not the type of person I am, or wanted to be so when all else failed I would ask her to go to her room when she was in a rage. Only once she'd (and I'd) calmed down could we move on. Little did I know at the time, but it's taught her a life skill – temper control! If she feels herself winding up now, she'll go off and have a word with herself and she finds she gets a much better result when she's reasonable (she's nearly 13 now). We have to find ways to deal with the different personality types our kids have, that's the really tricky part of parenting.

  14. Peggy says:

    That's such an interesting post Tara… I have been smacked when I was young. My mum was depressive and my dad didn't know how to react differently when he was angry. I smacked Elliott's bum once, not so long ago. He put himself in danger and I needed a quick reaction, but I hated myself for it, and I still do. He cried in shock and straight away came into my arms for a cuddle. I cried too and gave him a huge cuddle. I can't promise that I will never do it again but I really hope I will never ever do it out of anger, to let out steams, like it happened to me. I love my mum more than anything and when we talk about then we both cry. I don't believe that smacking help. I really thing that it can be very humiliating, but I also have to say that sometimes you hear parents talking to their children with so much anger and disrespect that it must be as bad as being slapped in the face. I have seen children being completely humiliated in public, their parents didn't slap them but God it sounded worse! It is a rule in our house no verbal or physical humiliation is tolerated as far as the rest is concerned we take it day by day and learn as we go along… thank you Tara for raising this issue!

  15. Peggy says:

    That's such an interesting post Tara… I have been smacked when I was young. My mum was depressive and my dad didn't know how to react differently when he was angry. I smacked Elliott's bum once, not so long ago. He put himself in danger and I needed a quick reaction, but I hated myself for it, and I still do. He cried in shock and straight away came into my arms for a cuddle. I cried too and gave him a huge cuddle. I can't promise that I will never do it again but I really hope I will never ever do it out of anger, to let out steams, like it happened to me. I love my mum more than anything and when we talk about then we both cry. I don't believe that smacking help. I really thing that it can be very humiliating, but I also have to say that sometimes you hear parents talking to their children with so much anger and disrespect that it must be as bad as being slapped in the face. I have seen children being completely humiliated in public, their parents didn't slap them but God it sounded worse! It is a rule in our house no verbal or physical humiliation is tolerated as far as the rest is concerned we take it day by day and learn as we go along… thank you Tara for raising this issue!

  16. Vered - MomGrind says:

    I was spanked as a child. I will never forget the overwhelming feelings of powerlessness and humiliation, although I did forgive my parents. I will never hit my children.

  17. Vered - MomGrind says:

    I was spanked as a child. I will never forget the overwhelming feelings of powerlessness and humiliation, although I did forgive my parents. I will never hit my children.

  18. When I'm at the end of my tether I have been known to get vey angry, and on rare occasions I've sworn (which I shouldn't I know) but under no circumstances would I hit a child.

  19. When I'm at the end of my tether I have been known to get vey angry, and on rare occasions I've sworn (which I shouldn't I know) but under no circumstances would I hit a child.

  20. Maternal Mirth says:

    I am what my mother refers to as "a tapper". Sometimes kids (normally around the toddler-preschool age) need that physical notification that, hey, you MUST cool it. When our kids have reached that point where they just are not listening anymore because they are in a tantrum-trance, we give a tap on the bottom. Nothing that hurts or requires any physical exertion, just a tap. And then we ask that they look as in the eyes as we restate the instructions they were screaming over previously.

  21. Maternal Mirth says:

    I am what my mother refers to as "a tapper". Sometimes kids (normally around the toddler-preschool age) need that physical notification that, hey, you MUST cool it. When our kids have reached that point where they just are not listening anymore because they are in a tantrum-trance, we give a tap on the bottom. Nothing that hurts or requires any physical exertion, just a tap. And then we ask that they look as in the eyes as we restate the instructions they were screaming over previously.

  22. Peggy says:

    I do like the word "tapper" Maternal Mirth, I suppose I am a little bit "a tapper" too. I do that to get his attention. I see it a bit more as a nudge. Not something that hurt but something that gets him focussed.

  23. Peggy says:

    I do like the word "tapper" Maternal Mirth, I suppose I am a little bit "a tapper" too. I do that to get his attention. I see it a bit more as a nudge. Not something that hurt but something that gets him focussed.

  24. Millennium Housewife says:

    we always said we'd smack, then when five year old was born we had a rethink. Something along the lines of using pain on a person too small to fight back to get them to do your bidding…We decided to never say never but if either of us wanted to smack for the first time we'd refrain and talk it through with each other to decide if we would want to go ahead with it. You know what? Everytime I have wanted to smack it's been because I was at the end of my tether, because I wanted them to know Just How Angry Mummy Was, never ever because it felt like the right thing to do by our children at that time. So we've never done it. I think it's a personal choice, but for us the thought of inflicting pain when we counsel against it every day just doesn't sit right. But I really think you need to make your own decision. Just don't smack because of your own rage. Great post Tara you're always good for making us think and question! MH

  25. Millennium Housewife says:

    we always said we'd smack, then when five year old was born we had a rethink. Something along the lines of using pain on a person too small to fight back to get them to do your bidding…We decided to never say never but if either of us wanted to smack for the first time we'd refrain and talk it through with each other to decide if we would want to go ahead with it. You know what? Everytime I have wanted to smack it's been because I was at the end of my tether, because I wanted them to know Just How Angry Mummy Was, never ever because it felt like the right thing to do by our children at that time. So we've never done it. I think it's a personal choice, but for us the thought of inflicting pain when we counsel against it every day just doesn't sit right. But I really think you need to make your own decision. Just don't smack because of your own rage. Great post Tara you're always good for making us think and question! MH

  26. GreenJello says:

    I started out as a "Spanking is ok" mother (I was brought up in a spanking home). I morphed into, "Spanking is only ok if the child is in danger". Then I turned into, "I don't spank my children."It requires you to be much more creative and controlled as a parent than to resort to hitting.

  27. GreenJello says:

    I started out as a "Spanking is ok" mother (I was brought up in a spanking home). I morphed into, "Spanking is only ok if the child is in danger". Then I turned into, "I don't spank my children."It requires you to be much more creative and controlled as a parent than to resort to hitting.

  28. amy says:

    I was slapped as a child too and i do remember feeling very upset and ashamed by the whole thing, it also hurt very much especialy on the back of my legs. I am also a 'tapper' of hands when they are about to be stuck in things that they shouldn't be and of bottoms if they are being difficult of in full blown tantrum but the naughty step tends to work for me and a change of tone of my voice always lets them know when they're in trouble. interesting post x x

  29. amy says:

    I was slapped as a child too and i do remember feeling very upset and ashamed by the whole thing, it also hurt very much especialy on the back of my legs. I am also a 'tapper' of hands when they are about to be stuck in things that they shouldn't be and of bottoms if they are being difficult of in full blown tantrum but the naughty step tends to work for me and a change of tone of my voice always lets them know when they're in trouble. interesting post x x

  30. Tara says:

    Wow. You guys have really stepped up to the plate here.I find it really interesting the amount of people who say they have smacked and then felt really guilty about it and the ones who've said that they were smacked as children and still remember it. Wow.And Peggy, just picking up on what you said about parents speaking to their children in anger and with disrespect. I had a particularly upsetting incident with this in a shoe shop once.The mother in the queue behind me had her 8 year old ish daughter with her and she was clearly bored (I mean what's worse than shoe shopping when you're 8?) and to repremand her the mother shouted across the store: "who do you think you are missy? You're nobody, you're nothing. And when you go to school with your crappy old shoes you can tell your mates that your mum wouldn't buy them because I was a little shit."She practically spat it at her daughter.To my eternal shame, I just stood there in that queue and felt utter shame for that child and the homelife she must endure.So Peggy, you are absolutely right, words can be just as painful as a slap.

  31. Tara says:

    Wow. You guys have really stepped up to the plate here.I find it really interesting the amount of people who say they have smacked and then felt really guilty about it and the ones who've said that they were smacked as children and still remember it. Wow.And Peggy, just picking up on what you said about parents speaking to their children in anger and with disrespect. I had a particularly upsetting incident with this in a shoe shop once.The mother in the queue behind me had her 8 year old ish daughter with her and she was clearly bored (I mean what's worse than shoe shopping when you're 8?) and to repremand her the mother shouted across the store: "who do you think you are missy? You're nobody, you're nothing. And when you go to school with your crappy old shoes you can tell your mates that your mum wouldn't buy them because I was a little shit."She practically spat it at her daughter.To my eternal shame, I just stood there in that queue and felt utter shame for that child and the homelife she must endure.So Peggy, you are absolutely right, words can be just as painful as a slap.

  32. PrettySprinkles says:

    Totally agree with Peggy and Tara…I kind of got to the stage that I wouldn't hurt physically any more and as a teen became a bit of an immortal danger freak. Sticks and stones may break my bones but only words can hurt me…

  33. PrettySprinkles says:

    Totally agree with Peggy and Tara…I kind of got to the stage that I wouldn't hurt physically any more and as a teen became a bit of an immortal danger freak. Sticks and stones may break my bones but only words can hurt me…

  34. mothership says:

    I think hitting children is unacceptable. I don't think it teaches them anything other than 'big people can impose physical violence upon smaller people and power lies with who can inflict the most upon whom'. I don't want them to think in those terms and apart from not wanting to hurt them physically (feel sick at the thought), I think it is so fundamentally disrespectful to do that to another human being, especially one so vulnerable and impressionable.I do feel sorry for that mother, though, that she felt she had no alternative but to lash out at a little kid. What a terrible state she must have been in. And the lack of inhibition to do it IN PUBLIC. My God!

  35. mothership says:

    I think hitting children is unacceptable. I don't think it teaches them anything other than 'big people can impose physical violence upon smaller people and power lies with who can inflict the most upon whom'. I don't want them to think in those terms and apart from not wanting to hurt them physically (feel sick at the thought), I think it is so fundamentally disrespectful to do that to another human being, especially one so vulnerable and impressionable.I do feel sorry for that mother, though, that she felt she had no alternative but to lash out at a little kid. What a terrible state she must have been in. And the lack of inhibition to do it IN PUBLIC. My God!

  36. Coding Mamma (Tasha) says:

    I batted Rosemary's arm away the other day, when she was reaching out for a sharp knife while 'helping' me cook dinner. I'm fairly certain that was all it was, but it was quick and quite sharp and, after she'd gone back through to the living room (not at all perturbed, it seemed), I sat on the kitchen floor and cried for five minutes, because it felt as though I had smacked her. I am finding that my current hormonal state is really reducing my patience and increasing the speed at which I become angry. And Rosemary is recognising this and retesting all my boundaries. It's a real challenge for me to try to stop before screaming or throwing my own tantrum (stomping from the room and slamming the door – something which Rosemary is not allowed to do). I think it's getting better now that I'm recognising the differences, because I can catch myself before I get to boiling point. But I really, really do not want to have that kind of anger toward a little girl who is just acting completely naturally. On the words hurting issue, our next door neighbours for the first couple of years we were here, was a mum and two daughters (I think about 10 and 8, but I wasn't a mum yet, so not so good at estimating ages). We would often hear her shouting and swearing at her children and one time I will never forget. She shouted 'I hate you. I wish you were never born!'. The sort of thing you expect a teenager to shout at their parents, but not a mum to shout at her daughter. I can't imagine ever being so angry that I could feel that way, let alone say it. I was never smacked and I don't remember any cruel words, either. There was plenty of swearing in our house, but it was directed at inanimate objects, never at people.Interesting post, Tara. It's certainly made us all dig deep.

  37. Coding Mamma (Tasha) says:

    I batted Rosemary's arm away the other day, when she was reaching out for a sharp knife while 'helping' me cook dinner. I'm fairly certain that was all it was, but it was quick and quite sharp and, after she'd gone back through to the living room (not at all perturbed, it seemed), I sat on the kitchen floor and cried for five minutes, because it felt as though I had smacked her. I am finding that my current hormonal state is really reducing my patience and increasing the speed at which I become angry. And Rosemary is recognising this and retesting all my boundaries. It's a real challenge for me to try to stop before screaming or throwing my own tantrum (stomping from the room and slamming the door – something which Rosemary is not allowed to do). I think it's getting better now that I'm recognising the differences, because I can catch myself before I get to boiling point. But I really, really do not want to have that kind of anger toward a little girl who is just acting completely naturally. On the words hurting issue, our next door neighbours for the first couple of years we were here, was a mum and two daughters (I think about 10 and 8, but I wasn't a mum yet, so not so good at estimating ages). We would often hear her shouting and swearing at her children and one time I will never forget. She shouted 'I hate you. I wish you were never born!'. The sort of thing you expect a teenager to shout at their parents, but not a mum to shout at her daughter. I can't imagine ever being so angry that I could feel that way, let alone say it. I was never smacked and I don't remember any cruel words, either. There was plenty of swearing in our house, but it was directed at inanimate objects, never at people.Interesting post, Tara. It's certainly made us all dig deep.

  38. Frog in the Field says:

    If I get really cross they run away with hands over their bottoms. I've asked them why they do this and they've said just in case I do start smacking…always makes me smile.

  39. Expat mum says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  40. Expat mum says:

    The worry is that it's usually for the parent's benefit – to make him/her feel that they are still in control. And when the parent has "had it" it becomes quite dangerous.Deliberately inflicting pain on a small child to teach them a lesson or to stop bad behavious is something I can't get my head around.And as some have said, if you get creative, there are a lot more "meaningful" punishments to choose from!

  41. DM09 says:

    Difficult one. I am naturally a hot headed person and why should I react any differently when my son is seriously testing my patience….except that it IS different and he has no idea yet what he is doing and the impact it has on me. I have to learn to control my instinctive responses because I don't want to grow up regretting my actions, as my father probably does with me.

  42. BloggerDad says:

    I'm divided on this issue as well. I've seen good cases for and against. To date, my son has received a couple of smacks on the hand when he was doing something dangerous. The grocery store seems to be a popular place to bring children for public punishment, though. I see parents losing their sh*! all the time. Sometimes I consider saying something, but never know if it will make things better or worse.Personally, I think ALL people should be sterilized until such time that they have some self control and the ability to raise children properly. There are too many crappy parents out there beating the hell out of their kids. And we all know that its an almost unending cycle which will only continue.

    • Fornamn Efternamn says:

      There is never, has never been and will never be any excuse to choose to abuse (hit, smack, spank) yor children.

  43. Tricia says:

    I absolutely, positively believe spanking is unacceptable. I wrote a whole post on this as well not so long ago, and as I was doing some research, everything I read just confirmed that spanking is neither an effective form of discipline, nor is it an inspired teaching method or form of parenting. Here's the post I wrote: http://www.shoutdaily.com/2008/10/you-can-call-it

  44. More than Just a Mot says:

    I don't agree with smacking children at all. If you do it in anger, it's absolutely the wrong reaction. If you do it in a 'controlled' manner, then you've surely had enough time to think of a more suitable approach. Either way no-one comes out on top.

  45. Laura McIntyre says:

    Im also a big hater of hitting in any forms, i just cannot bring myself to bring that kinda pain onto my kids – not to mention don't want them to think its ok. No matter how naughty they are being a quick time out seems to do the trick

  46. Laura McIntyre says:

    Im also a big hater of hitting in any forms, i just cannot bring myself to bring that kinda pain onto my kids – not to mention don't want them to think its ok. No matter how naughty they are being a quick time out seems to do the trick

  47. Grit says:

    i have spanked shark. it ended the discussion at that moment. we had already tried the punishment option of removing her cuddly toy fish angela from her. when we removed the fish she smashed up one bedroom, kicked down a door and made to throw herself through a window. how we can laugh now.

  48. Grit says:

    i have spanked shark. it ended the discussion at that moment. we had already tried the punishment option of removing her cuddly toy fish angela from her. when we removed the fish she smashed up one bedroom, kicked down a door and made to throw herself through a window. how we can laugh now.

  49. Jonny's Mommy says:

    My son ran out in the parking lot yesterday and though a car wasn't around it might have been. He thought it was a game and giggle and took off on me. I hit him twice on the rear, not very hard, when I got him. He had a diaper on and looked at me like 'You're kidding right?' As a rule we don't spank,but in this moment I felt it was the right thing to do. I don't know that I agree with spanking as a "threat" or as a "thing to do." I agree that teaching them to hit, in any form, can be a fine line to walk.

    • Fornamn Efternamn says:

      There is no line and there is never a reason to choose to be an abusive child hitter. Hit your self instead.

  50. Jonny's Mommy says:

    My son ran out in the parking lot yesterday and though a car wasn't around it might have been. He thought it was a game and giggle and took off on me. I hit him twice on the rear, not very hard, when I got him. He had a diaper on and looked at me like 'You're kidding right?' As a rule we don't spank,but in this moment I felt it was the right thing to do. I don't know that I agree with spanking as a "threat" or as a "thing to do." I agree that teaching them to hit, in any form, can be a fine line to walk.

  51. Anonymous says:

    wow, lots of virtuous parents out there – good on you all for being so fabulous – maybe you could all co-contribute to a self-help book for parents with 'tricky' kids? Look it up if you don't know who/what these kids are…possibly Grit has some experience of this phenomenon.

  52. Anonymous says:

    wow, lots of virtuous parents out there – good on you all for being so fabulous – maybe you could all co-contribute to a self-help book for parents with 'tricky' kids? Look it up if you don't know who/what these kids are…possibly Grit has some experience of this phenomenon.

  53. Tara says:

    @ Anonymous: Believe me, my 3 year old daughter epitomises 'tricky'. She has taken both me and my husband right to the edge of sanity and had us crying at night because we just didn't know what to do with her or how to stop her being so naughty.We made the decision that smacking wouldn't help in any way. We opted for a different route and we opted for unity and consistancy and it has worked.She's still a nightmare at times but she's learning now and she bloody hates that bottom step and it has become an effective enough threat!I didn't want there to be any mud slinging here over these comments. Some parents say they don't smack, some do. There is no right or wrong answer here.

  54. Tara says:

    @ Anonymous: Believe me, my 3 year old daughter epitomises 'tricky'. She has taken both me and my husband right to the edge of sanity and had us crying at night because we just didn't know what to do with her or how to stop her being so naughty.We made the decision that smacking wouldn't help in any way. We opted for a different route and we opted for unity and consistancy and it has worked.She's still a nightmare at times but she's learning now and she bloody hates that bottom step and it has become an effective enough threat!I didn't want there to be any mud slinging here over these comments. Some parents say they don't smack, some do. There is no right or wrong answer here.

  55. Iota says:

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  56. Iota says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  57. Iota says:

    Bit late to the party, but I'll add my comment anyway.I am theoretically opposed to smacking, for all the reasons given by other commenters. BUT, since having children, I have discovered a side to myself that I didn't know was there. When pushed to the limit and beyond, when frustrated, when no-one listens to me, when I'm sleep-deprived, when I've washed a zillion poos out of pants, when I haven't seen another adult for hours and hours on end, then I am capable of smacking a tempting passing bottom.I never feel good about it. I always apologise to the child when I've cooled down. I always say that I feel bad and that hitting isn't the answer. I don't do it often, but more often than the people who have confessed to 2 or 3 times ever.

  58. Iota says:

    Bit late to the party, but I'll add my comment anyway.I am theoretically opposed to smacking, for all the reasons given by other commenters. BUT, since having children, I have discovered a side to myself that I didn't know was there. When pushed to the limit and beyond, when frustrated, when no-one listens to me, when I'm sleep-deprived, when I've washed a zillion poos out of pants, when I haven't seen another adult for hours and hours on end, then I am capable of smacking a tempting passing bottom.I never feel good about it. I always apologise to the child when I've cooled down. I always say that I feel bad and that hitting isn't the answer. I don't do it often, but more often than the people who have confessed to 2 or 3 times ever.

  59. kirsty815 says:

    Not a spanker but a believer in reverse psychology..lol Right now the face works for me! The your gonna get it face, even though I've never spanked her in my life. ~grin~

  60. kirsty815 says:

    Not a spanker but a believer in reverse psychology..lol Right now the face works for me! The your gonna get it face, even though I've never spanked her in my life. ~grin~

  61. Debbie says:

    Brilliant post. I don't believe in hitting either. I certainly don't want to raise my kids to be violent people.

  62. Debbie says:

    Brilliant post. I don't believe in hitting either. I certainly don't want to raise my kids to be violent people.

  63. Anonymous says:

    My Dad had a novel way without needing to smack-but making sure i received a VERY sore bottom!!, he would lay me across his lap and with a small piece of sandpaper would rub my bare bottom, hard, for about 20-30 seconds, it didn't hurt as he did it but after a few minutes my bum felt like it was on fire!!-VERY sore!. Then in a corner with my hands on my hand my poor red sore burning little bottom..waving it about to try and cool it down!!. After half an hour he offered cream (which was embarrassing having to poke your bare bum out while your Dad rubs cream in)!! but i accepted-anything to ease the stinging!! besides he often saw my bare bum in the house!!. I said "sorry Daddy" and was desperate for a cuddle and was a good girl and obedient to him. I still follow him everywhere!!

  64. Anonymous says:

    My Dad had a novel way without needing to smack-but making sure i received a VERY sore bottom!!, he would lay me across his lap and with a small piece of sandpaper would rub my bare bottom, hard, for about 20-30 seconds, it didn't hurt as he did it but after a few minutes my bum felt like it was on fire!!-VERY sore!. Then in a corner with my hands on my hand my poor red sore burning little bottom..waving it about to try and cool it down!!. After half an hour he offered cream (which was embarrassing having to poke your bare bum out while your Dad rubs cream in)!! but i accepted-anything to ease the stinging!! besides he often saw my bare bum in the house!!. I said "sorry Daddy" and was desperate for a cuddle and was a good girl and obedient to him. I still follow him everywhere!!

  65. Anonymous says:

    Well done to your Dad-a smacked bottom never hurt anyone.

  66. Anonymous says:

    Well done to your Dad-a smacked bottom never hurt anyone.

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