What would your advice be to expectant mothers and fathers?

mother-and-baby
From the minute my son was born I promised myself I would enjoy every single minute of his beautiful life.
I was in my 30s when I brought that little man into the world and I was ready.
During those 9 months of pregnancy I heard every shocking birth-related story imaginable.

Why do people think you want to hear those? Why do they tell you about pain and suffering and anguish when you’re enjoying the most magical time of your life as a woman?
Why does anyone need to tell me how hard it’s going to be, how I will become friends with real sadness, flirt with depression, cry myself to sleep?

I was not going to become one of those people.

Picture: Tambako the Jaguar

I would not turn my much-wanted child into an excuse for never getting out there and living any more. I would not blame him for us being slightly poorer or for the signs of motherhood etched onto my body.

It was our decision to bring this child into the world and I was going to make sure he knew how much we wanted him there.

There are countless whispers from mothers of how time seems to slip away and you’ve only to turn your back for a minute and they’re all grown up and chasing girls and dreams like they used to chase butterflies in the back garden.
I recall friends saying how, if they could have their time again, they would do this or say that or visit here or stay there.
I didn’t ever want to be saddled with those regrets.

And so I never once minded waking up at all hours with demands for his mama’s milk – I actually enjoyed sitting in the dark with his little fingers clutching at my dressing gown and the smell of new life in the air.

I never minded being housebound when he was ill and having to give up all my time to rock or soothe or feed.

I gave up a whole chunk of ‘me’ to make sure he had the best start in life and it brings me great joy to say that I can look back now with no regrets.
Sure there have been hard times. Of course there have, but I accepted them, ruminated on them and plodded on, leaving each of those hurdles behind.

Now my son is 6 and I am so proud of the young man he is and the gentleman he is becoming and I look forward to see how he navigates the rest of his life.

Of course at times I think, ‘wow, he’s nearly 6! Wasn’t I just changing his nappies and rocking him in my arms just a few months ago’, but now he’s moving on to an even better stage and I can’t wait to hold his hand while he’s doing it.

I am writing this because two very good friends of mine are just about to have babies of their own.

There are also a couple of daddy bloggers I read who are expecting.

All these dads to be and are setting off on that amazing journey that will be all-consuming, emotionally draining and, let’s face it, bloody hard.

They have probably had the same conflicting advice I was given. The ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were yous’ and the ‘in my days’. Everyone thinks they are an expert.

But I wanted to add my twopenceworth.

Enjoy every single moment. The crying, the crushing lows, the draining lack of sleep, the highs, the laughs, the heartswelling joy – embrace them all.

It won’t last forever and one day you want to look back on these times and say to yourself ‘I made the most of my child’s life and I have no regrets’.

So, what would your piece of advice be to anyone expecting their first baby?

This entry was posted in Family Life. Bookmark the permalink.

76 Responses to What would your advice be to expectant mothers and fathers?

  1. that girl? says:

    Beautiful piece Tara – and my advice would be not to listen to any advice! Do you're own thing, find your own way and love that little baby with all your heart.

  2. that girl? says:

    Beautiful piece Tara – and my advice would be not to listen to any advice! Do you're own thing, find your own way and love that little baby with all your heart.

  3. notSupermum says:

    Two things come to mind: try not to wish their lives away. I promised myself I wouldn't be saying "when they're at nursery/school/college" and by and large I've kept to that. Enjoy the age they are right now.Also, listen to your own instincts. You will be inundated with advice, but you will know your baby best.

  4. notSupermum says:

    Two things come to mind: try not to wish their lives away. I promised myself I wouldn't be saying "when they're at nursery/school/college" and by and large I've kept to that. Enjoy the age they are right now.Also, listen to your own instincts. You will be inundated with advice, but you will know your baby best.

  5. Avlor says:

    Mine echos yours Tara. Even on busy days – spend at least a little time with your child. I find that with housework, running kids back and forth to school, fixing meals, etc. that it is easy to not spend time with my kids and husband even though we live in the same house. I love to cuddle on the couch with my kiddos and read to them. (One of my favorite memories with my mom too. She read me the Hobbit when I was ~5.)

  6. Avlor says:

    Mine echos yours Tara. Even on busy days – spend at least a little time with your child. I find that with housework, running kids back and forth to school, fixing meals, etc. that it is easy to not spend time with my kids and husband even though we live in the same house. I love to cuddle on the couch with my kiddos and read to them. (One of my favorite memories with my mom too. She read me the Hobbit when I was ~5.)

  7. Vered - MomGrind says:

    I agree! There's a lot of criticism from a feminist point of view on women's choice to become stay at home moms, and while I agree it's problematic as far as finances go, and have tons of respect for mothers who work outside the home, I also think the choice to stay home with one's kids is not a crazy one at all.

  8. Vered - MomGrind says:

    I agree! There's a lot of criticism from a feminist point of view on women's choice to become stay at home moms, and while I agree it's problematic as far as finances go, and have tons of respect for mothers who work outside the home, I also think the choice to stay home with one's kids is not a crazy one at all.

  9. Vodka Mom says:

    My advice? Do your best, love your kid- and never look back. Also, there are no real BAD decisions. YOu know? We do what we can, we are ALL human, and we all learn more from our mistakes than from our great success. And frankly, just waking up in the morning and knowing we are still here is the greatest success of all.

  10. Vodka Mom says:

    My advice? Do your best, love your kid- and never look back. Also, there are no real BAD decisions. YOu know? We do what we can, we are ALL human, and we all learn more from our mistakes than from our great success. And frankly, just waking up in the morning and knowing we are still here is the greatest success of all.

  11. Vodka Mom says:

    love your new look. p.s.

  12. Vodka Mom says:

    love your new look. p.s.

  13. Working mum says:

    Ignore the scaremongers who delight in saying "You think it's bad now, wait till they're crawling/walking/talking/at school, etc" I've found each 'next stage' better and easier than the previous one.

  14. Working mum says:

    Ignore the scaremongers who delight in saying "You think it's bad now, wait till they're crawling/walking/talking/at school, etc" I've found each 'next stage' better and easier than the previous one.

  15. Matthew Dryden says:

    I would explain the simple things like how to prepare for changing a diaper before you open the it – and how to prepare before for other things like that.

  16. B J Keltz says:

    My advice is to embrace your children, and let them become who they should be…that and always remember how fast these days pass. Mine are now 19 and 21, and it really does seem like last year I was taking them to their first day of school.

  17. B J Keltz says:

    My advice is to embrace your children, and let them become who they should be…that and always remember how fast these days pass. Mine are now 19 and 21, and it really does seem like last year I was taking them to their first day of school.

  18. Lance says:

    Hi Tara,This short video, called "The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short" at:http://mindfulmimi.blogspot.com/2009/02/days-are-long-but-years-are-short.html- this pretty much sums it up for me…

  19. Tara says:

    @ that girl? If you listen to all the advice you will go mad. Fact!I recall a friend who had a massive fall out with a family member because she wouldn't follow the 'tried and tested formula for success' that she was advocating! How mad is that?@ notSupermum: I think we're all guilty at some point of wishing away the Terrible Twos or the constantly crying baby months etc. But you are absolutely right, you should really try to enjoy it as much as you can. @ Avlor: "I love to cuddle on the couch with my kiddos and read to them" – such a lovely snapshot of your homelife, Avlor.@ Vered: You're right. It is down to the individual mum. Not all mums want to stay at home and not all mums want to go back to work. It's about what works best for you and your family – there is no right or wrong answer. Something you'd think was akin to castration the way you hear some people argue this issue. @ Vodka Mom: And we're all listening to your advice VM because you have teens and you've been through it all (boy have you been through it all) and I'm sucking up any snippets of advice I can from you! @ Working mum: Why do people do that? It's like the people who say "your life will be over once you have kids" – I feel really sorry for them as my life only became richer and more fun. @ Matthew Dryden: Great to have a dad on here sharing. I know you have a young son so changing a nappy (NAPPY Matt!) is quite a challenge with the whole weeing in a fountain thing going on!

  20. Lance says:

    Hi Tara,This short video, called "The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short" at:http://mindfulmimi.blogspot.com/2009/02/days-are-long-but-years-are-short.html- this pretty much sums it up for me…

  21. Tara says:

    @ that girl? If you listen to all the advice you will go mad. Fact!I recall a friend who had a massive fall out with a family member because she wouldn't follow the 'tried and tested formula for success' that she was advocating! How mad is that?@ notSupermum: I think we're all guilty at some point of wishing away the Terrible Twos or the constantly crying baby months etc. But you are absolutely right, you should really try to enjoy it as much as you can. @ Avlor: "I love to cuddle on the couch with my kiddos and read to them" – such a lovely snapshot of your homelife, Avlor.@ Vered: You're right. It is down to the individual mum. Not all mums want to stay at home and not all mums want to go back to work. It's about what works best for you and your family – there is no right or wrong answer. Something you'd think was akin to castration the way you hear some people argue this issue. @ Vodka Mom: And we're all listening to your advice VM because you have teens and you've been through it all (boy have you been through it all) and I'm sucking up any snippets of advice I can from you! @ Working mum: Why do people do that? It's like the people who say "your life will be over once you have kids" – I feel really sorry for them as my life only became richer and more fun. @ Matthew Dryden: Great to have a dad on here sharing. I know you have a young son so changing a nappy (NAPPY Matt!) is quite a challenge with the whole weeing in a fountain thing going on!

  22. mothership says:

    You put it beautifully. I also had my babies in my 30's and was ready and waiting for them. I remember being up all night with my son, now 20 months old when he was a tiny thing in a hotel when the rest of us and our nanny were sleeping before a flight to Belize and the poor baby had a fever and sore ear. He was fine as long as I held him next to me in the Baby Bjorn and I remember walking around and around the empty lobby late at night singing to him that those precious moments we were sharing could never be repeated. People thought I was BARMY and perhaps I was, but he looked up at me and smiled as I sang, and I will never forget it. Every moment is worth remembering no matter what. It's all such a blessing.

  23. mothership says:

    You put it beautifully. I also had my babies in my 30's and was ready and waiting for them. I remember being up all night with my son, now 20 months old when he was a tiny thing in a hotel when the rest of us and our nanny were sleeping before a flight to Belize and the poor baby had a fever and sore ear. He was fine as long as I held him next to me in the Baby Bjorn and I remember walking around and around the empty lobby late at night singing to him that those precious moments we were sharing could never be repeated. People thought I was BARMY and perhaps I was, but he looked up at me and smiled as I sang, and I will never forget it. Every moment is worth remembering no matter what. It's all such a blessing.

  24. b says:

    What a wonderful post and one that all new parents to be should read. I feel exactly like you, I had loads of people trying to tell me what to do and giving me scare stories, I had my kids in my 20´s, but I managed to smile sweetly and pretend I was listening, when in fact I had switched off. Nobody knows your child like you or your partner and only you can do your best. We all make mistakes whether we are parents or not, but if we take each day as it comes and try to be true to ourselves and our children, life is infinitely sweeter. My kids are growing up 16, 12 and 9 but I treasure each day with them, even when they are being beastly!

  25. Patricia says:

    Having a special needs, hyperactive child, I knew I had to stay home and learn and do what I needed to do full time. I do regret that my kiddo had to become my full time work….to help her achieve her success in life now and the opportunity for her to be independent. I have no resentment about how I stayed home with my children and how they are turning out to be such amazing, wonderful people. I do resent how I am treated by my community and society for making this decision, I am used up physically and have no financial success for my own old age needs – I would prefer to be able to hang out in this plain of existence for awhile longer and be able to take care of myself. It is rather a negative seed in the midst of a rather spectacular bouquet.

  26. Patricia says:

    Having a special needs, hyperactive child, I knew I had to stay home and learn and do what I needed to do full time. I do regret that my kiddo had to become my full time work….to help her achieve her success in life now and the opportunity for her to be independent. I have no resentment about how I stayed home with my children and how they are turning out to be such amazing, wonderful people. I do resent how I am treated by my community and society for making this decision, I am used up physically and have no financial success for my own old age needs – I would prefer to be able to hang out in this plain of existence for awhile longer and be able to take care of myself. It is rather a negative seed in the midst of a rather spectacular bouquet.

  27. Turf Dad says:

    First thing I would like to say is I was 35 when I adopted my 3 kids. I think starting my family in my 30s made a huge difference in me as a father. I was much better prepared. I'm sure you were too. So I think starting a little later is a good thing.My advice is "your kids will ALWAYS be your kids," even when they are on their own. Don't be to hard on yourself when you do make a mistake. You will make lots of them. Acknowledge those mistakes and make it right.

  28. Turf Dad says:

    First thing I would like to say is I was 35 when I adopted my 3 kids. I think starting my family in my 30s made a huge difference in me as a father. I was much better prepared. I'm sure you were too. So I think starting a little later is a good thing.My advice is "your kids will ALWAYS be your kids," even when they are on their own. Don't be to hard on yourself when you do make a mistake. You will make lots of them. Acknowledge those mistakes and make it right.

  29. iota says:

    I just love what you say, and couldn't say it better. Oh, except I might add, "make sure you go to bed early whenever you can".

  30. iota says:

    I just love what you say, and couldn't say it better. Oh, except I might add, "make sure you go to bed early whenever you can".

  31. Christina says:

    A beautiful post, Tara! I'd echo you in saying to cherish every moment, because it all passes so quickly. I'd also emphasize that every parent and child are different, and what works for one won't work for another so don't give too much weight to any advice. And of course – take LOTS of pictures! 🙂

  32. Christina says:

    A beautiful post, Tara! I'd echo you in saying to cherish every moment, because it all passes so quickly. I'd also emphasize that every parent and child are different, and what works for one won't work for another so don't give too much weight to any advice. And of course – take LOTS of pictures! 🙂

  33. Nicola says:

    Lovely post Tara! One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was to always come down to a child's level to address them – and always look them in the eye. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see into your own child's soul – they are never afraid to hold your gaze and sometimes it is at the most unexpected moments when time just stops and you really both 'see' each other. It is blissful and always makes my heart just thump with joy and love.

  34. Nicola says:

    Lovely post Tara! One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was to always come down to a child's level to address them – and always look them in the eye. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see into your own child's soul – they are never afraid to hold your gaze and sometimes it is at the most unexpected moments when time just stops and you really both 'see' each other. It is blissful and always makes my heart just thump with joy and love.

  35. Tony says:

    I don't have kids of my own, but my six year old nephew and my three year old niece live with me and have been here since they were born, so it's almost like they're mine – I try to give them as much attention as I can. If you look at the posts I put on my page or the comments I write most are done either late at night or early in the morning and that's because I go online when they're asleep because other wise I feel like I'm taking time away from them being on the computer – kind of silly I know, but that's just my way of thinking. Right now, my nephew is with his dad and my niece is sleeping, so I can send this message 🙂 Advice – enjoy the children as much as you can and spend as much time as you can with them because one day they'll be all grown up and may not want to spend time with you.

  36. Tony says:

    I don't have kids of my own, but my six year old nephew and my three year old niece live with me and have been here since they were born, so it's almost like they're mine – I try to give them as much attention as I can. If you look at the posts I put on my page or the comments I write most are done either late at night or early in the morning and that's because I go online when they're asleep because other wise I feel like I'm taking time away from them being on the computer – kind of silly I know, but that's just my way of thinking. Right now, my nephew is with his dad and my niece is sleeping, so I can send this message 🙂 Advice – enjoy the children as much as you can and spend as much time as you can with them because one day they'll be all grown up and may not want to spend time with you.

  37. Noble Savage says:

    I was guilty of wishing the difficult baby days away with my first. I felt in over my head and couldn't wait until she started sleeping more, crying less, needing me less. But I realised as she grew how quickly it goes and that I'd better not speed up the process as I would regret it one day. My second child is five months old and I am cherising every single minute. Even through bleary 2am eyes I smile down at his face and breathe in his milky smell and stroke his face, trying to memorise every little aspect of him. My advice to a new parent would be to treasure every stage in your child's development, even when it's hard on you, and allow them to teach you the lesson they were meant to — slow down, enjoy life and each other because time marches on and as you age it starts to break into a run. Don't let it run away with memories you coud've had if you'd allowed them to happen.

  38. Noble Savage says:

    I was guilty of wishing the difficult baby days away with my first. I felt in over my head and couldn't wait until she started sleeping more, crying less, needing me less. But I realised as she grew how quickly it goes and that I'd better not speed up the process as I would regret it one day. My second child is five months old and I am cherising every single minute. Even through bleary 2am eyes I smile down at his face and breathe in his milky smell and stroke his face, trying to memorise every little aspect of him. My advice to a new parent would be to treasure every stage in your child's development, even when it's hard on you, and allow them to teach you the lesson they were meant to — slow down, enjoy life and each other because time marches on and as you age it starts to break into a run. Don't let it run away with memories you coud've had if you'd allowed them to happen.

  39. Peggy says:

    That's a lovely post Tara and I agree with everything you said… It is so easy to think God it is hard, when will it stop?! the fact is that like you say in reply to one of my post, the worry never ends ever… there will always be a part of us that will belong to them and that part aches when they ache, laughs when they laugh, is happy when they are happy! Isn't this the beauty of being a parent? My advice would be: 1- Like it was said before don't listen to well intentionned advice2- Do what feels right for you and your children, only you and your partner know what is right 3- For every bloody hard day, sit back and think of a beautiful memory or one of those moments when everything was perfect and remember there will a million more like this4- Don't forget to laugh it off!! See the funny side to every situation and it won't seem as bad as it looks…Thanks Tara for this post

  40. Peggy says:

    That's a lovely post Tara and I agree with everything you said… It is so easy to think God it is hard, when will it stop?! the fact is that like you say in reply to one of my post, the worry never ends ever… there will always be a part of us that will belong to them and that part aches when they ache, laughs when they laugh, is happy when they are happy! Isn't this the beauty of being a parent? My advice would be: 1- Like it was said before don't listen to well intentionned advice2- Do what feels right for you and your children, only you and your partner know what is right 3- For every bloody hard day, sit back and think of a beautiful memory or one of those moments when everything was perfect and remember there will a million more like this4- Don't forget to laugh it off!! See the funny side to every situation and it won't seem as bad as it looks…Thanks Tara for this post

  41. Metropolitan Mum says:

    Dear Tara,Thank you so much for this post! Our little L is due to arrive in less than four weeks. And together with all this excitement about holding her and actually having her, I am so scared if I am going to make it right, and if I will be able to enjoy the time as a stay at home mum. In my case, a little bit of 'everything will be all right' advise is just what I need to hear. Thank you!

  42. Metropolitan Mum says:

    Dear Tara,Thank you so much for this post! Our little L is due to arrive in less than four weeks. And together with all this excitement about holding her and actually having her, I am so scared if I am going to make it right, and if I will be able to enjoy the time as a stay at home mum. In my case, a little bit of 'everything will be all right' advise is just what I need to hear. Thank you!

  43. Tara says:

    Wow. Once again you guys have surpassed yourselves – the comments on here have been just fabulous.@ Mothership: I love how you describe being up all night with your son and soothing him in his Baby Bjorn! It really is amazing the memories you can make. You are so right, every moment is worth remembering no matter what. @ B: "If we take each day as it comes and try to be true to ourselves and our children, life is infinitely sweeter" what lovely words. And coming from the mother of a teenager, that's very very impressive!@ Patricia: I always remember my mother-in-law saying to me once "it's hard to love the unloveable" and those words really struck with me and made me really take stock. You have done an amazing job and it doesn't matter a jot what anyone else thinks or says about that. But you are right, society doesn't help parents who give up so much to help their children. But you have done a wonderful thing in this life, and no one can take that success away from you.@ Turf Dad: Thanks for adding to this. It's really interesting to get the perspective of not only a dad, but a dad who adopted and adopted THREE! I had to chuckle when you said "your kids will ALWAYS be your kids" because my husband's mother still frets about him like he's a teenager! I used to think it was ridiculous – then I had a son of my own and I so get her now!@ iota: "Make sure you go to bed early whenever you can" – wise words but I'm pretty sure I never did. Always something to fit in before baby/toddler/child awakes!@ Christina: Oh yes, of course, take lots of pictures (although no one could possibly take as many and as many fabulous shots as you)@ Nicola: It's funny you say that come down to their level thing, because I picked that up from watching (cough cough) Supernanny and my son totally totally responded to it. An excellent piece of advice.@ Tony: What a fabulous uncle you are! It's not silly at all. I remember reading how boys especially will turn to another male role model when they're about 8, usually an uncle or a family friend, who they look to for advice and support because they want to branch out from their mum and dad.You are so set up for that now and the rate you're going you will be just brilliant at it! @ Noble Savage: I'm really glad you've come on here and said this because I know there are mums who struggled with it when their baby was really young. I think about the parents who have to stuggle through croup or illness or worse and I just cannot imagine what that must be like to cope with. The way you describe your second time around though sounds just idyillic. "Even through bleary 2am eyes I smile down at his face and breathe in his milky smell and stroke his face, trying to memorise every little aspect of him" you are actually making me feel broody! @ Peggy: I love how you say to laugh things off and see the funny side to every situation – sometimes that is really hard to remember but it is a great trick for lifting your spirits.I have really good friend who is at the 6 week stage and she's blue and tired and emotional and she phoned me and we just giggled about rubbish and she said she felt a million times better. Laughter is a fabulous cure all.

  44. Tara says:

    Wow. Once again you guys have surpassed yourselves – the comments on here have been just fabulous.@ Mothership: I love how you describe being up all night with your son and soothing him in his Baby Bjorn! It really is amazing the memories you can make. You are so right, every moment is worth remembering no matter what. @ B: "If we take each day as it comes and try to be true to ourselves and our children, life is infinitely sweeter" what lovely words. And coming from the mother of a teenager, that's very very impressive!@ Patricia: I always remember my mother-in-law saying to me once "it's hard to love the unloveable" and those words really struck with me and made me really take stock. You have done an amazing job and it doesn't matter a jot what anyone else thinks or says about that. But you are right, society doesn't help parents who give up so much to help their children. But you have done a wonderful thing in this life, and no one can take that success away from you.@ Turf Dad: Thanks for adding to this. It's really interesting to get the perspective of not only a dad, but a dad who adopted and adopted THREE! I had to chuckle when you said "your kids will ALWAYS be your kids" because my husband's mother still frets about him like he's a teenager! I used to think it was ridiculous – then I had a son of my own and I so get her now!@ iota: "Make sure you go to bed early whenever you can" – wise words but I'm pretty sure I never did. Always something to fit in before baby/toddler/child awakes!@ Christina: Oh yes, of course, take lots of pictures (although no one could possibly take as many and as many fabulous shots as you)@ Nicola: It's funny you say that come down to their level thing, because I picked that up from watching (cough cough) Supernanny and my son totally totally responded to it. An excellent piece of advice.@ Tony: What a fabulous uncle you are! It's not silly at all. I remember reading how boys especially will turn to another male role model when they're about 8, usually an uncle or a family friend, who they look to for advice and support because they want to branch out from their mum and dad.You are so set up for that now and the rate you're going you will be just brilliant at it! @ Noble Savage: I'm really glad you've come on here and said this because I know there are mums who struggled with it when their baby was really young. I think about the parents who have to stuggle through croup or illness or worse and I just cannot imagine what that must be like to cope with. The way you describe your second time around though sounds just idyillic. "Even through bleary 2am eyes I smile down at his face and breathe in his milky smell and stroke his face, trying to memorise every little aspect of him" you are actually making me feel broody! @ Peggy: I love how you say to laugh things off and see the funny side to every situation – sometimes that is really hard to remember but it is a great trick for lifting your spirits.I have really good friend who is at the 6 week stage and she's blue and tired and emotional and she phoned me and we just giggled about rubbish and she said she felt a million times better. Laughter is a fabulous cure all.

  45. My advice would be, try not to worry too much, remember all new parents are in the same boat, and make time for yourselves. It's a wonderful experience, enjoy every minute of it!

  46. My advice would be, try not to worry too much, remember all new parents are in the same boat, and make time for yourselves. It's a wonderful experience, enjoy every minute of it!

  47. ALMOST MRS AVERAGE says:

    I'd say remember no-one expects you to be an expert…(even when your kids are grown-up and gone). The best thing is to go with gut instinct and work with what's best for you. Gee, I wish someone had told me that seven years ago…would have saved me slapping my face with a wet fish because everyone else seemed to do it better.

  48. ALMOST MRS AVERAGE says:

    I'd say remember no-one expects you to be an expert…(even when your kids are grown-up and gone). The best thing is to go with gut instinct and work with what's best for you. Gee, I wish someone had told me that seven years ago…would have saved me slapping my face with a wet fish because everyone else seemed to do it better.

  49. Marcia Francois says:

    Thanks for this, Tara. I'm pregnant with twins after two rounds of IVF so we are OVER the MOON, and you're right – people want you to know all the bad stuff and not the blessings 🙂

  50. Marcia Francois says:

    Thanks for this, Tara. I'm pregnant with twins after two rounds of IVF so we are OVER the MOON, and you're right – people want you to know all the bad stuff and not the blessings 🙂

  51. I always say this…Enjoy every moment! It goes quickly, and before you know it, you'll miss the days when…DaisyP.S. Mine is almost 6 too… oh my!

  52. I always say this…Enjoy every moment! It goes quickly, and before you know it, you'll miss the days when…DaisyP.S. Mine is almost 6 too… oh my!

  53. GreenJello says:

    There will be time enough for a clean house when the children have grown up and left.

  54. GreenJello says:

    There will be time enough for a clean house when the children have grown up and left.

  55. Tara says:

    @ Metropolitan Mum: Oh wow. Many many congratulations. You will absolutely have a wonderful time and you always have the support of all your bloggy friends on line if ever you need us. x@ Rosiescribble: "It's a wonderful experience, enjoy every minute of it!" – very wise words!@ Almost Mrs Average: "Gee, I wish someone had told me that seven years ago…would have saved me slapping my face with a wet fish because everyone else seemed to do it better" – I don't mean to laugh at your misfortune, but tee hee!@ Marcia: Many many congratulations. You must be absolutely chuffed to bits. I have a friend in the same position as you (not twins, just the one!) and she never stops smiling. I wish you every bit of luck and best wishes for the future. @ answerstartswithyou: I agree. I miss them as babies now, but am loving them as young children.

  56. Tara says:

    @ Metropolitan Mum: Oh wow. Many many congratulations. You will absolutely have a wonderful time and you always have the support of all your bloggy friends on line if ever you need us. x@ Rosiescribble: "It's a wonderful experience, enjoy every minute of it!" – very wise words!@ Almost Mrs Average: "Gee, I wish someone had told me that seven years ago…would have saved me slapping my face with a wet fish because everyone else seemed to do it better" – I don't mean to laugh at your misfortune, but tee hee!@ Marcia: Many many congratulations. You must be absolutely chuffed to bits. I have a friend in the same position as you (not twins, just the one!) and she never stops smiling. I wish you every bit of luck and best wishes for the future. @ answerstartswithyou: I agree. I miss them as babies now, but am loving them as young children.

  57. Expat mum says:

    With tongue in cheek – "You will never die from lack of sleep. You may think you are dying, you may even want to die, but YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT!"

  58. The Blonde Duck says:

    I'm so glad you posted this. One of my friends is a new mom and she makes me terrified of having kids!

  59. Expat mum says:

    With tongue in cheek – "You will never die from lack of sleep. You may think you are dying, you may even want to die, but YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT!"

  60. The Blonde Duck says:

    I'm so glad you posted this. One of my friends is a new mom and she makes me terrified of having kids!

  61. Robert says:

    Advice to expectant parents – be prepared to accept that the centre of your loife will move from you to your baby.I'm father of 7 aged 3 – 33 and I've enjoyed every minute and still enjoying it. It's a real privilege! My special needs son taught me that you can love someone even when you get no love in return – and I'm glad of that lesson.

  62. Robert says:

    Advice to expectant parents – be prepared to accept that the centre of your loife will move from you to your baby.I'm father of 7 aged 3 – 33 and I've enjoyed every minute and still enjoying it. It's a real privilege! My special needs son taught me that you can love someone even when you get no love in return – and I'm glad of that lesson.

  63. What a nice post Tara. You summed it, enjoy them while you have them on loan, because they'll need to go back soon.

  64. What a nice post Tara. You summed it, enjoy them while you have them on loan, because they'll need to go back soon.

  65. Adrenalynn says:

    What a great post! I totally agree. I was actually pleasantly surprised at both the actual birth and the time afterwards because everybody I knew who'd already had babies had made me think it was going to be horribly painful and difficult!It's so important to enjoy every minute, because you'll never get those precious moments back!

  66. Adrenalynn says:

    What a great post! I totally agree. I was actually pleasantly surprised at both the actual birth and the time afterwards because everybody I knew who'd already had babies had made me think it was going to be horribly painful and difficult!It's so important to enjoy every minute, because you'll never get those precious moments back!

  67. PS~Erin says:

    Wow. Beautiful, really. I also have a six year old and now an 18 month old, both in my 30s. And both after much trying and praying. I couldn't agree with you more. I feel like everyday is a gift with these kiddos. I can't believe I get to be their mom. The two bits of advice are:1~Write down everything you wish to remember. A good friend of mine gave me a blank calendar I kept by the changing area. I'd just jot down all the 1sts and little things too, like sicknesses, sleepless nights, and fun little facial expressions. I love looking back through it and cannot believe how much I would have forgotten.2~ Guard family time. Be selfish with the down time together at home. Cherish it.

  68. PS~Erin says:

    Wow. Beautiful, really. I also have a six year old and now an 18 month old, both in my 30s. And both after much trying and praying. I couldn't agree with you more. I feel like everyday is a gift with these kiddos. I can't believe I get to be their mom. The two bits of advice are:1~Write down everything you wish to remember. A good friend of mine gave me a blank calendar I kept by the changing area. I'd just jot down all the 1sts and little things too, like sicknesses, sleepless nights, and fun little facial expressions. I love looking back through it and cannot believe how much I would have forgotten.2~ Guard family time. Be selfish with the down time together at home. Cherish it.

  69. Sal says:

    You know, I would have to follow right in line with what you said. After already bringing two little ones into the world and expecting a 3rd, this time is no different.I look at each moment as a new adventure, from the cravings to the crampings and everything in between, it is an experience that I will never get to re-live again once they pass. And yes, with each child it is different.To those new mom's and dad's who are just now expecting for the first time, the only thing you need to worry about having when the baby arrives is love. Seriously. Everything else will fall into place. Sure, it may get hard, but you figure it out. You have 3 days till you get paid and only 3 diapers left…guess what, you figure out what you need to do to put pants on that little one of yours.I don't know how it works (well, actually I do, but that is for another day) but just make sure the love is there and everything else will ultimately take care of itself. Just remember, whatever you want, you can have, you just have to be willing to take the consequences and man/woman up to the challenges in order to make it happen…but it can happen if you want it bad enough.

  70. Sal says:

    You know, I would have to follow right in line with what you said. After already bringing two little ones into the world and expecting a 3rd, this time is no different.I look at each moment as a new adventure, from the cravings to the crampings and everything in between, it is an experience that I will never get to re-live again once they pass. And yes, with each child it is different.To those new mom's and dad's who are just now expecting for the first time, the only thing you need to worry about having when the baby arrives is love. Seriously. Everything else will fall into place. Sure, it may get hard, but you figure it out. You have 3 days till you get paid and only 3 diapers left…guess what, you figure out what you need to do to put pants on that little one of yours.I don't know how it works (well, actually I do, but that is for another day) but just make sure the love is there and everything else will ultimately take care of itself. Just remember, whatever you want, you can have, you just have to be willing to take the consequences and man/woman up to the challenges in order to make it happen…but it can happen if you want it bad enough.

  71. Tara says:

    @The Blonde Duck: Nothing to be terrified of. In fact if you can raise children you're pretty much bomb proof!@ Expat mum: I remember being so tired after having my first because I missed a whole night's sleep and I sat there thinking I so know why they use this as a form of torture! It's hell.@ Robert: Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. I love that you call raising you SEVEN (gulp) children a privilege. @ A Modern Mother: Children on loan? Hmm now there's a business idea . . . @ Adrenalynn: I'm so pleased you said that. I feel so sad for parents who are told that babies will ruin their lives and they'll never be the same again, and I think no it won't be the same – it will be far far better. @ PS~Erin: Hey there. Thanks for visiting and commenting. "I feel like everyday is a gift with these kiddos. I can't believe I get to be their mom" what a fabulous way to go through life. And I totally agree with the writing everything down. You're convinced you will remember but then life moves on and you have a whole bunch of other stuff to remember.

  72. Tara says:

    @The Blonde Duck: Nothing to be terrified of. In fact if you can raise children you're pretty much bomb proof!@ Expat mum: I remember being so tired after having my first because I missed a whole night's sleep and I sat there thinking I so know why they use this as a form of torture! It's hell.@ Robert: Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. I love that you call raising you SEVEN (gulp) children a privilege. @ A Modern Mother: Children on loan? Hmm now there's a business idea . . . @ Adrenalynn: I'm so pleased you said that. I feel so sad for parents who are told that babies will ruin their lives and they'll never be the same again, and I think no it won't be the same – it will be far far better. @ PS~Erin: Hey there. Thanks for visiting and commenting. "I feel like everyday is a gift with these kiddos. I can't believe I get to be their mom" what a fabulous way to go through life. And I totally agree with the writing everything down. You're convinced you will remember but then life moves on and you have a whole bunch of other stuff to remember.

  73. Tara says:

    @ Sal: Wow. I love every word of that. I was actually thinking of you as one of the expectant fathers (although I know you're an expert at it now!)Thank you so much for sharing that. I think we are all guilty of thinking about the mums to be in these times, when the dad is going through it all too.Big love to your (expanding) family! x

  74. Tara says:

    @ Sal: Wow. I love every word of that. I was actually thinking of you as one of the expectant fathers (although I know you're an expert at it now!)Thank you so much for sharing that. I think we are all guilty of thinking about the mums to be in these times, when the dad is going through it all too.Big love to your (expanding) family! x

  75. SabrinaT says:

    All of the grand advice has been given. I will just add something simple..Never wake a sleeping baby!

  76. SabrinaT says:

    All of the grand advice has been given. I will just add something simple..Never wake a sleeping baby!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge