Are all children given a manual at birth and told to memorise key phrases throughout their lives?
This is all I seem to hear from my soon-to-be 6 year old’s mouth at the moment:
But it’s not faaaaair
When will my willy be like daddy’s willy?
Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, but mummy.
If I eat that healthy thing that you are FORCING me to have, can I have a treat?
What are we doing when we get home? What are we doing after that? Then what are we doing? What are we doing tomorrow?
Mia, shall we fight?
Can Santa actually see everything – even when no grown ups are around to tell him?
But Mia’s chocolate/present/whatever is bigger than mine.
And from my 3 year old:
If you give me a biscuit I’ll be your best friend.If you tell me off I’ll stop loving you a little bit.
(Shouting from the toilet) You can come wipe my bottom now.
(this she does at home/at the supermarket/in the posh restaurant we ‘treated’ ourselves to.
Mummy you’re so pretty. You’re pretty because of that necklace you’re wearing.
Can I watch Dora?
We don’t like sharks do we? We quite like baby sharks. They can come in my room if they want, but not big sharks. They’re not allowed. Can you tell them they’re not allowed in my room? Can I have another birthday this year?