This week we’ve been mostly saying . . .

Are all children given a manual at birth and told to memorise key phrases throughout their lives?
This is all I seem to hear from my soon-to-be 6 year old’s mouth at the moment:

But it’s not faaaaair

When will my willy be like daddy’s willy?

Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, but mummy.

If I eat that healthy thing that you are FORCING me to have, can I have a treat?

What are we doing when we get home? What are we doing after that? Then what are we doing? What are we doing tomorrow?

Mia, shall we fight?

Can Santa actually see everything – even when no grown ups are around to tell him?

But Mia’s chocolate/present/whatever is bigger than mine.

And from my 3 year old:
If you give me a biscuit I’ll be your best friend.If you tell me off I’ll stop loving you a little bit.

(Shouting from the toilet) You can come wipe my bottom now.
(this she does at home/at the supermarket/in the posh restaurant we ‘treated’ ourselves to.

Mummy you’re so pretty. You’re pretty because of that necklace you’re wearing.
Can I watch Dora?

We don’t like sharks do we? We quite like baby sharks. They can come in my room if they want, but not big sharks. They’re not allowed. Can you tell them they’re not allowed in my room? 
Can I have another birthday this year?

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30 Responses to This week we’ve been mostly saying . . .

  1. The Dotterel says:

    We have periodic 'name change' days to avoid the endless calls of muuuuu-uuuuuum, and daaaaaaaaa–aaaaad? Great fun (for us, not them!).

  2. In our household it's "Maaa…aaam" and "only if I can have crisps!"

  3. Jen says:

    too funny. I just love the things that kids say. Their perspective on the world it so cool!

  4. Tara says:

    @Dotterel: Why did I not think of that before? Genius idea. Today I will be Her Royal Highness.@Adventure Mother: I never thought I would say it, but you can really grow to hate the word 'mum' can't you?@Jen: Their perspecitve on the world may be cool but it makes mummy all HOT AND BOTHERED!

  5. Millennium Housewife says:

    Tara that really made me laugh, especially the shark one! Thankyou! MH

  6. Expat mum says:

    Aw. My 5 year old called me a "Meanie" all the way to school today. Apparently I'm not a "loving" mother if I tell him not to be cheeky to me!

  7. Vered - MomGrind says:

    Mine say "it's not fair" so often and it really means "I didn't get my way."Yes, there must be a manual. 🙂

  8. cherish.photography says:

    ahhh…the joys of being a mommy….. 🙂

  9. Tara says:

    @Expat Mum: Meanie, oo that's harsh!I get told I'm the worst mum in the world if I dare to say 'no' to anything my son wants. It's only when he's tired and I KNOW he's just doing it for attention, but boy does it cut!@Vered: So very very true. But who taught them all to say 'it's so unfair'? It's like it's ingrained in their psyche!

  10. Tara says:

    @Cherish Photography: Hey Gina, welcome!Just popped over to visit and there is a giant photo of a turkey carcas – I so wasn't expecting that!Looks like a good Thanksgiving all round.

  11. They DO get on jags of saying the same thing over and over. Right now whenever I tell my almost-3-yo to do something he says, "First I need to [insert whatever he'd rather be doing.]"Hmmm, wonder where he got that?

  12. Grit says:

    no fearful sharks for us… we apparently do keep a child eating eagle in the eaves.

  13. Tara says:

    @Hairline Fracture: Because EVERYTHING is more important than what mummy wants to do. That's like rule 2 in the Rules of Parenting manual isn't it?@Grit: Child eating eagle? Brilliant!

  14. Biscuits, Dora, Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmy, mummy, mummy on a loop. No more, you've watched it already, WHAT?? On another loop. The joys of parenting, eh?x

  15. "Shall we fight?" I'm in love! I'm sending Sprite to you for a while! If she talked like that, I would be better able to handle her attitudes! I'd even give her points for proper phrasing!

  16. Tara says:

    @CTTF: Dora? Oh yes we know Dora very very well in this house. Close second is Diego. And each episode (which hubby records) has to be watched at least 5 times in a row . . . @Sprite: Tonight she said to her brother: "shall we play the willy game?". I have no idea what that game consists of, but how does a 3-year-old think up these things?

  17. Funny they sound like my kids (6, 3) my youngest is so the smoozer with his little compliments.

  18. CK Lunchbox says:

    I about spit my wine on the monitor when I read the one I plan to use on "Lois." "You can come wipe my bottom now!"

  19. Turf Dad says:

    Fowler's computer must be broken again. I was sure he would respond to the willy quote.

  20. My 3 year old is apt to come running back from the loo in a restaurant and announce something like: "I've done a big poo, Daddy. A really big poo." At full volume.

  21. Tara says:

    @ White Hot Magik: Smoozer now, smoozer always. Just think how far your son will go with that attitude! Our children are the same age, so I'm guessing we're going through the same stuff.Welcome over here by the way, really good to have you here.@CK Lunchbox: Imagine where that wine gets spit when we're out in a restaurant and she shouts that from the toilet? Actually, scrub that. I OBVIOUSLY don't drink when I'm out with the children. @Turf Dad: Do you know what Turf Dad, we can say whatever we like about Mr Fowler if he's not coming over for a shuftie. I'll go first: Dave Fowler wears girlie pants . . .@Nappy valley girl: I notice it's daddy she tells about her big poo. Is that by design because if it is HOW DID YOU MANAGE IT!

  22. Tara – it's because I already know, he would have been with me when he did it! I've both tagged you and given you an award, over at mine….

  23. At the moment we have "but Billy/Fran/Indigo/Marcus/Peter has got one", "do I have to be good from now to get Christmas presents?", "I don't like green things except frogs" and "I'll tell daddy". The latter is a threat for when I don't let him do anything that he wants to do. Yesterday he wanted to take all three dogs to the park, on his own at 5pm because "I'm a big boy now mummy"

  24. Be nice if they said things like'Mummy would you like me to wash up', and 'Mummy, I've tidied my room,'…But no, I too getMuuuummmmmmmmeeeee, can you wipe my bottom now… or, particularly choice…Mummy, Thomas has got a great big bogey up his nose….Lovely. Just lovely.

  25. Katherine says:

    Chortling madly here at post AND comments! Homage post to you Sticky Fingers over at my place.

  26. Lynn says:

    Haha, your kids are hilarious! 🙂 My favorite one is "When will my willy be like daddy's willy"… I can't wait for that one 🙂

  27. Lynn says:

    Oh, it's Adrenalynn, by the way! I couldn't figure out how to comment without using my blogger account!

  28. Mom/Mum says:

    Hilarious! Mia and Cheeky have the same loudness re bottom wiping, except mine shouts "I'm doooooone with my poo Muuuummmmy!" Again, wherever we are.He also likes to tell everyone he's having a poo and announces this particular fact very loudly in public bathrooms. usually saying, "Mummy/Daddy, I'm -uh-er-strain-strain ha-ving my poo!" Seriously. You gotta laugh.

  29. Bush Mummy says:

    Hi TaraThere is a strangely similar echo in my house. If mine start I simply tell them that Father Christmas won't bring them any presents. how bad a mummy am I?BM x

  30. Laura McIntyre says:

    Mmm maybe there is something to be said for having a verbally delayed 3 year old? Mind you the constant screeching is almost worst 🙂

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