The Mia Shopping Experience

(Originally posted March 25, 2008)

MY husband thinks I exaggerate when I tell him how stressful it is taking our children shopping.

They are as good as gold when he is there, sitting in their car seats without turning into a ‘plank’ (a fun way of preventing mummy from strapping them in), holding hands as they walk in front of us, pretending they haven’t noticed the huge display of Christmas treats that loom in front of them in Marks & Spencer like some huge chocolate landmark.

To be fair it’s usually innocent-looking little Mia who instigates the terror. Dan just blindly follows where she leads.

So I thought it was time to treat hubby to a Mia Shopping Experience.

We took the children to have their feet measured. Straight there, straight back, no “boring mummy shops” inbetween.

I think he gets it now.

Mia sat and had her feet measured, chose her hugely inappropriate shoes, tried them, walked up and down the store for the assistant who wears the permanently surprised look on her face of someone who has seen Hell and Destruction pass through their doors in the shape of bored children in need of new shoes.

My daughter was a model child and this assistant is radiating a ‘this must be some mum’ look about her.

But I knew what was to come. For when it was Dan’s turn, Mia was bored.

She jumped on the feet measuring machine thing (which, to be fair, does actually look like a climbing frame), ran off down the rabbit warren of isles where all the shoes are stored floor to ceiling and then appeared when we were just beginning to panic wearing a pair of adult’s red wellington boots she’d found somewhere.

They were so large on her that she couldn’t bend her knees and she walked towards us like some deranged robot shouting ‘look at me mummy, I’m a grown up’.

Ah yes, this is more like the nightmare I am used to.

My mum tells me I’ve only got myself to blame. When I was two she lost me in the Broad Street branch of Allied Carpets, a huge store on the main drag in to Birmingham city centre.

They scoured the store in a frenzy. Mum and the manager were outside the shop in a real panic and just about to phone the police when they noticed a small pair of feet peeking out of a giant roll of carpet in the shop window . . .

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17 Responses to The Mia Shopping Experience

  1. Hi Tara – like the new blog! Stupidly I hadn't realised it was you posting comments before, but thought there was another Tara…..The shoe shop story sounds so familiar. I have to deal with two naughty littleboys when doing it, so the one who isn't having their feet measured will be running around creating havoc, usually picking up shoes and throwing them around the shop!

  2. Hi Tara – like the new blog! Stupidly I hadn't realised it was you posting comments before, but thought there was another Tara…..The shoe shop story sounds so familiar. I have to deal with two naughty littleboys when doing it, so the one who isn't having their feet measured will be running around creating havoc, usually picking up shoes and throwing them around the shop!

  3. Yeah, this is totally your fault. I seem to be to blame for my daughter as well. It's a genetic thing. I love that she grabbed the boots…my kind of gal that Mia. 🙂

  4. Yeah, this is totally your fault. I seem to be to blame for my daughter as well. It's a genetic thing. I love that she grabbed the boots…my kind of gal that Mia. 🙂

  5. matthewdryden says:

    My son is always good for me – if he planks me, a strong push against his hips bends his into sitting position…luckily he's still small enough for me to do that.

  6. I HATE going shopping with the kids–whether or not Justin is with me. They love to hide under the clothes racks–arrrgggh!

  7. I HATE going shopping with the kids–whether or not Justin is with me. They love to hide under the clothes racks–arrrgggh!

  8. Jen says:

    Its so nice when Dad's can get a taste of what Mom goes through.

  9. Jen says:

    Its so nice when Dad's can get a taste of what Mom goes through.

  10. Working mum says:

    Ha! Found your new blog!I blame the shops for providing such exciting hiding places – Tesco provide little cubby holes for trolleys and four year olds!

  11. Working mum says:

    Ha! Found your new blog!I blame the shops for providing such exciting hiding places – Tesco provide little cubby holes for trolleys and four year olds!

  12. Tara says:

    @Nappy Valley Girl: Another Tara? No no no no! It's great to have you here anyway. @Stiletto Mom: So if it's a genetic thing we're OK, because our little girls will follow our lead and become gorgeous grown up women! Phew@Matthew: Boys are always good for their dads. They do it to show mummy up and make her look like a rubbish parent. I think it's encoded in their genetics. @Hairline Fracture: And that is why I do all my shopping online, except for the stuff you can't buy online and then I just go without for as long as possible!@Jen: Absolutely! I had a girlie weekend away recently and hubby had the children for two nights on his own and as I walked in the door he said: "I will NEVER take you for granted again!" @Working Mum: Welcome welcome, it's great to have you here. And you are so right about supermarkets providing cubby holes for toddlers. And underneath the conveyor belts where you pay too, that's another favourite hidey hole.

  13. Tara says:

    @Nappy Valley Girl: Another Tara? No no no no! It's great to have you here anyway. @Stiletto Mom: So if it's a genetic thing we're OK, because our little girls will follow our lead and become gorgeous grown up women! Phew@Matthew: Boys are always good for their dads. They do it to show mummy up and make her look like a rubbish parent. I think it's encoded in their genetics. @Hairline Fracture: And that is why I do all my shopping online, except for the stuff you can't buy online and then I just go without for as long as possible!@Jen: Absolutely! I had a girlie weekend away recently and hubby had the children for two nights on his own and as I walked in the door he said: "I will NEVER take you for granted again!" @Working Mum: Welcome welcome, it's great to have you here. And you are so right about supermarkets providing cubby holes for toddlers. And underneath the conveyor belts where you pay too, that's another favourite hidey hole.

  14. Kool Aid says:

    I remember as a kid I would hide inside the clothing racks – those big round stand-alone ones. Sometimes I wouldn't get out even when she called me two or three times. Payback's a b@#ch, isn't it?

  15. Kool Aid says:

    I remember as a kid I would hide inside the clothing racks – those big round stand-alone ones. Sometimes I wouldn't get out even when she called me two or three times. Payback's a b@#ch, isn't it?

  16. Mom/Mum says:

    Tara – you read my recent post. you commented. You hear me. I hear you. I feel your pain!Now, where did you hide the Cadbury's fingers?p.s. Buy those shoes online next time…?!

  17. Mom/Mum says:

    Tara – you read my recent post. you commented. You hear me. I hear you. I feel your pain!Now, where did you hide the Cadbury's fingers?p.s. Buy those shoes online next time…?!

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