(Originally posted April 13, 2008)
Life doesn’t get more stressful than a meal out with children.
If you’re not fielding thrown food and attempts to eat the crayons, you’re pulling them away from other diners sat nearby.
And cute as she is, Mia strolling up to your table and shouting “hello lady” is really going to annoy some folk.
We tend to warn diners the minute we walk in so they have the chance to move. Or leave.
To be fair, Daniel and Mia aren’t too bad in comparison to some I’ve seen. But if you’re childless and fancy a night out, let’s face it you don’t want to be sat within 5 yards of anyone whose idea of fun is to see how far a chip can go up their nose.
I’m telling you all this because we had one of these experiences in Pizza Hut at the weekend.
It was Friday night, we were tired after a week at work and I wasn’t in the mood for cooking. Eating out seemed a great give-mum-the-night-off option.
Oh how very very wrong I was.
It started off well. The children were handed Alvin and the Chipmunks magazines by our waitress and two white chef hats (crown type things for them to colour in) which has got to keep them entertained for a bit right?
The only thing they wanted on their crowns was King Daniel and Queen Mia to be written on. And for mummy to do it.
In the right colours which means ‘K’ in blue, then ‘i’ in red, then ‘n’ in yellow – you get the picture.
The minute the food arrived Mia insisted she wanted the toilet – and announced to the whole restaurant that is was a “stinky poo” and that “it really has to come out right now, mummy”.
Sat on the toilet she’s singing at the top of her sweet voice: “My poo is stinky, big and stinky.”
I’m hunched down in the tiny cubicle praying no one else comes in to the toilets.
There is a lenghty pause and then she says the words every parent most dreads: “Mummy it’s stuck.”
I walked out of the toilets feeling jaded and too tired to care. Across the diners I see hubby slumped in his chair wearing the Queen Mia crown, clutching Mia’s precious baby while Daniel is climbing all over him. He looks jaded and too tired to care.
So, if you were the young, lovey dovey couple sat in the corner aarring and cooing over Mia lovingly cuddling her baby and feeding it macaroni cheese all I can say is:
DON’T DO IT!
CUTE IN SMALL DOSES.
That was hubby and I sat there once, declaring how romantic babies are and how our children will never so much as play with a napkin when we take them out.
Sheesh, just look at us now!