My baby said the F word

(Originally posted March 20, 2008)

I recently had one of those awful heart crunching moments all parents dread.

“You should never say the F word,” my five-year-old announced.

In my head I’m screaming ‘oh no, oh no, oh no’. I know it’s inevitable but he’s only five and still so innocent. How does he even know it yet?

“It’s really not nice and if you say it it really upsets people and gets them angry.”

Then my heart begins to swell. Well at least he’s been very grown up and sensible about it.

I begin to feel quite proud.

“I can spell it as well,” he declares.

Oh hell! And before I can put him off or divert him or change the subject or run for the hills he spells it out (with all the authority he can muster):

“F. A. T”

I stifle every fibre in me which wants to burst out laughing and breath the hugest sigh of relief.

This entry was posted in Dan & Mia, Family Life. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to My baby said the F word

  1. Kool Aid says:

    Classic! Absolutely classic. We had a similar conversation at the dinner table, only it was the "S" word. If only you could have seen the looks Trey and I were passing each other as Monkey was explaining about the "S" word and all the different ways we were trying to figure it out without her saying it. What does it rhyme with? Where did you hear it? Can you spell it?S-T-U-P-I-D.

  2. Kool Aid says:

    Classic! Absolutely classic. We had a similar conversation at the dinner table, only it was the "S" word. If only you could have seen the looks Trey and I were passing each other as Monkey was explaining about the "S" word and all the different ways we were trying to figure it out without her saying it. What does it rhyme with? Where did you hear it? Can you spell it?S-T-U-P-I-D.

  3. Sparx says:

    Very funny! Great to see the new blog, will one day, when I'm not so knackered, even replace the link in my blogroll! Hope the new work also goes well!

  4. Sparx says:

    Very funny! Great to see the new blog, will one day, when I'm not so knackered, even replace the link in my blogroll! Hope the new work also goes well!

  5. Jen says:

    Oh, that F word. He is right, that one is not nice to say either.

  6. Jen says:

    Oh, that F word. He is right, that one is not nice to say either.

  7. Blogger Dad says:

    LOL! Well, that's a relief. For a moment I was worried that maybe Fowler's kids started rubbing off on him!

  8. Blogger Dad says:

    LOL! Well, that's a relief. For a moment I was worried that maybe Fowler's kids started rubbing off on him!

  9. matthewdryden says:

    Hey you! Glad to have found your new place…I was one of your lurkers! (Haha!)

  10. Dave says:

    And here's me thinking the F word in your house was 'Fowler'.

  11. Tara says:

    @ Kool Aid: I hate the word stupid. I hate how children call each other it, so it's a banned word in our house. So my rebellious daughter has adopted it as her word of choice whenever she's being told off or told to do something she doesn't want to."Well, you're just stupid" she declares with all emphasis on that final word!Better that than something else I guess!@Sparx: Really great to have you here matey. @ Jen: Which ties in nicely to my other new venture: http://www.blogtofit.com/@ Blogger Dad: Let Dave's kids anywhere near mine? Are you insane? I do have certain standards . . . (he he) @ Matthew: Hey lurker, so very glad you've come on over. I really do appreciate your support. All lurking gladly received!@Dave: I feel like I've set you up for a joke you've been wanting to use for like ever!Glad to be the 'straight man' to your comedy act buddy!

  12. Tara says:

    @ Kool Aid: I hate the word stupid. I hate how children call each other it, so it's a banned word in our house. So my rebellious daughter has adopted it as her word of choice whenever she's being told off or told to do something she doesn't want to."Well, you're just stupid" she declares with all emphasis on that final word!Better that than something else I guess!@Sparx: Really great to have you here matey. @ Jen: Which ties in nicely to my other new venture: http://www.blogtofit.com/@ Blogger Dad: Let Dave's kids anywhere near mine? Are you insane? I do have certain standards . . . (he he) @ Matthew: Hey lurker, so very glad you've come on over. I really do appreciate your support. All lurking gladly received!@Dave: I feel like I've set you up for a joke you've been wanting to use for like ever!Glad to be the 'straight man' to your comedy act buddy!

  13. Dave says:

    Everyone insists on torturing me. But no I won't allow myself to go down that very rude road. Naughty Tara. Naughty.

  14. I'm liking the new digs! You are lucky, my son busted out the eff word at two. THE REAL EFF WORD. Also? He did it in front of my inlaws for extra shock and awe. He was even able to use it in a contextually relevant manner in a sentence. They can't say I never taught him anything. 🙂

  15. I'm liking the new digs! You are lucky, my son busted out the eff word at two. THE REAL EFF WORD. Also? He did it in front of my inlaws for extra shock and awe. He was even able to use it in a contextually relevant manner in a sentence. They can't say I never taught him anything. 🙂

  16. Mom/Mum says:

    hey TaraThat was so funny, bless him. But at least it was just that word. I've had the worse f-word said in our house. In context and at full volume. And he sounded so funny saying it, that I laughed. Not the best reaction.We did have a long talk about it after and fingers crossed, it hasn't been heard escaping from his mouth since….Haven't A CLUE where he got it from…..

  17. Mom/Mum says:

    hey TaraThat was so funny, bless him. But at least it was just that word. I've had the worse f-word said in our house. In context and at full volume. And he sounded so funny saying it, that I laughed. Not the best reaction.We did have a long talk about it after and fingers crossed, it hasn't been heard escaping from his mouth since….Haven't A CLUE where he got it from…..

  18. Sal says:

    That is hilarious! Tara, the new diggs look great, and apparently your little one has gotten wind of your new trifecta of adventure over at blog to fit.

  19. Sal says:

    That is hilarious! Tara, the new diggs look great, and apparently your little one has gotten wind of your new trifecta of adventure over at blog to fit.

  20. Kim says:

    We had a whole conversation recently about someone who got in trouble for saying the 'f' word. I asked my daughter what it was but she said she didn't know. I'm thinking she heard gossip about the 'f' word and knew it must be bad but had no idea what was really going on.Oh and the 's' word – it is stupid. But I think she learned that she shouldn't say it at school because I never made a big deal out of it.

  21. Kim says:

    We had a whole conversation recently about someone who got in trouble for saying the 'f' word. I asked my daughter what it was but she said she didn't know. I'm thinking she heard gossip about the 'f' word and knew it must be bad but had no idea what was really going on.Oh and the 's' word – it is stupid. But I think she learned that she shouldn't say it at school because I never made a big deal out of it.

  22. GreenJello says:

    It is interesting to see through the eyes of a child. The "real" F word probably doesn't mean anything to him, but he *has* seen what the other F word does to people.Pretty observant, if you ask me.

  23. GreenJello says:

    It is interesting to see through the eyes of a child. The "real" F word probably doesn't mean anything to him, but he *has* seen what the other F word does to people.Pretty observant, if you ask me.

  24. Well, he'd probably hurt someone's feelings more with "f-a-t." But I understand why you were relieved when it turned out to be that!

  25. Well, he'd probably hurt someone's feelings more with "f-a-t." But I understand why you were relieved when it turned out to be that!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge