Bum face

A conversation with my girl tonight went something like this:

Mia: “My face is sore” (she cut it at nursery after trying to climb on a table to show off to Samuel Walker)
Me: “Don’t worry my love, I’ll put some cream on.”

I squeeze cream out of the tube.

Mia (totally shocked): “That cream’s for my bum!”
Me: “No it’s not.”
Mia: “Yes it is, that’s bum cream.”
Me: “It will be OK, it’s nice and soothing.”
Mia (in the most outraged voice she can muster): “I haven’t got a bum face mummy. Don’t give me a bum face.”

Mummy gets the tub of face cream out instead.

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43 Responses to Bum face

  1. Dave says:

    Laughing My Bum Face Off (LMBFO)Quite right. If the bum cream isn't good enough for your face, why would your very discerning daughter (and don't forget she is what she is becasue of you!) tolerate a two tier face cream regime?Heeeeeeeeee hehehehehehehe.That is a cracking story though!

  2. Dave says:

    Laughing My Bum Face Off (LMBFO)Quite right. If the bum cream isn't good enough for your face, why would your very discerning daughter (and don't forget she is what she is becasue of you!) tolerate a two tier face cream regime?Heeeeeeeeee hehehehehehehe.That is a cracking story though!

  3. Jen says:

    you can't get anything past here huh? I hate that when they start to notice things more.

  4. Jen says:

    you can't get anything past here huh? I hate that when they start to notice things more.

  5. CK Lunchbox says:

    Yes, that sounds like a bum deal… smart kid.

  6. CK Lunchbox says:

    Yes, that sounds like a bum deal… smart kid.

  7. You can't give that sweet baby bum face…just not right. One time, we put menthol cream on a diaper rash our son had, also a bad idea. 🙂

  8. You can't give that sweet baby bum face…just not right. One time, we put menthol cream on a diaper rash our son had, also a bad idea. 🙂

  9. Tara says:

    @Dave: I love LMBFO! Am now going to use it on everyone's blog and they won't know what I mean and I'll be all mysterious and cool!@Jen: You're darn right I can't get anything past her. She has a mummy bull**** radar and it's red hot. I got away with it for years with my son . . . @CK: Bum deal, bum rap, how many more bum puns can we find!@Stiletto Mom: Menthol cream of nappy rash? YIKES. You make me look like a perfect mum!

  10. Tara says:

    @Dave: I love LMBFO! Am now going to use it on everyone's blog and they won't know what I mean and I'll be all mysterious and cool!@Jen: You're darn right I can't get anything past her. She has a mummy bull**** radar and it's red hot. I got away with it for years with my son . . . @CK: Bum deal, bum rap, how many more bum puns can we find!@Stiletto Mom: Menthol cream of nappy rash? YIKES. You make me look like a perfect mum!

  11. Potty Mummy says:

    LMBFO! (Oh, is that copyrighted?). it sounds rather like your little angel may grow up to have expensive tastes…

  12. Potty Mummy says:

    LMBFO! (Oh, is that copyrighted?). it sounds rather like your little angel may grow up to have expensive tastes…

  13. Mom/Mum says:

    So funny. What a bummer! She was obviously bummed about the cream eh?Priceless words from a toddler, yet again. They never fail to surprise and delight us with their reasoning eh?Quite clearly, she's not going to be a bum in her future…

  14. Mom/Mum says:

    So funny. What a bummer! She was obviously bummed about the cream eh?Priceless words from a toddler, yet again. They never fail to surprise and delight us with their reasoning eh?Quite clearly, she's not going to be a bum in her future…

  15. Potty Mummy says:

    BTW Tara, check out: http://footballersknees.blogspot.com/ for the first non-Sticky Fingers use of LMBFO – hope you don't mind but it seemed appropriate.

  16. Potty Mummy says:

    BTW Tara, check out: http://footballersknees.blogspot.com/ for the first non-Sticky Fingers use of LMBFO – hope you don't mind but it seemed appropriate.

  17. Oh, so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all these years. Better switch to face cream!Very funny, love your blog.

  18. Oh, so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all these years. Better switch to face cream!Very funny, love your blog.

  19. Sal says:

    I don't know what worries me more, the fact that you can use bum cream on your face, or the fact that you have a TUB of face cream. Do they sell that at Sam's Club?

  20. Sal says:

    I don't know what worries me more, the fact that you can use bum cream on your face, or the fact that you have a TUB of face cream. Do they sell that at Sam's Club?

  21. Dave says:

    Do you think my wife would mind me using her face cream on my bum to deal with the dark rings around my eye?It's got seremolipotides or sumfin.

  22. Dave says:

    Do you think my wife would mind me using her face cream on my bum to deal with the dark rings around my eye?It's got seremolipotides or sumfin.

  23. GreenJello says:

    Love it! Kids are so observant.

  24. GreenJello says:

    Love it! Kids are so observant.

  25. Tricia says:

    Oh this is so adorable! Sounds like something my four year old would scold me for as well.

  26. Tricia says:

    Oh this is so adorable! Sounds like something my four year old would scold me for as well.

  27. britoutofwater says:

    For some reason, this post reminded me of a pharse that I no longer hear now that I'm a Brit Out Of Water, and that I actually really miss…"Blimey, he/she had a face like a smacked a**e…"Can you get cream for that?

  28. britoutofwater says:

    For some reason, this post reminded me of a pharse that I no longer hear now that I'm a Brit Out Of Water, and that I actually really miss…"Blimey, he/she had a face like a smacked a**e…"Can you get cream for that?

  29. Tara says:

    @Potty Mummy: You are the girl! Dave will be psyched his new LMBFO term is on it's way!That is just brilliant.@Mom/Mum: Can't tell you used to be a journo! So many puns and so little time. Old habits die hard eh?@Footballers Knees: Great to see you here. No sooner has Potty Mummy done her LMBFO thing, you're here you are in an instant. Like Mr Ben. And I love your blog name!@Sal: Mate, we have creams for everything in this house. Even have one for 'baggy eyes' but that's in hubby's cabinet.@Dave: You dirty dog! (I've been dying to say that for ages). You dirty dog, with a smooth bottom if you use your wife's expensive face cream on it. And check out Potty Mummy bigging up your new LMBFO.@GreenJello: I can't get a thing passed her. I just get withering looks now and a roll of the eyes like she's 15. Lord help when she IS 15.@Tricia: Welcome. Hmm adorable you say? I find being scolded by a child a bit embarassing to be honest – I love that she's smart but mummy would like to be just a teeny bit smarter!

  30. Tara says:

    @Potty Mummy: You are the girl! Dave will be psyched his new LMBFO term is on it's way!That is just brilliant.@Mom/Mum: Can't tell you used to be a journo! So many puns and so little time. Old habits die hard eh?@Footballers Knees: Great to see you here. No sooner has Potty Mummy done her LMBFO thing, you're here you are in an instant. Like Mr Ben. And I love your blog name!@Sal: Mate, we have creams for everything in this house. Even have one for 'baggy eyes' but that's in hubby's cabinet.@Dave: You dirty dog! (I've been dying to say that for ages). You dirty dog, with a smooth bottom if you use your wife's expensive face cream on it. And check out Potty Mummy bigging up your new LMBFO.@GreenJello: I can't get a thing passed her. I just get withering looks now and a roll of the eyes like she's 15. Lord help when she IS 15.@Tricia: Welcome. Hmm adorable you say? I find being scolded by a child a bit embarassing to be honest – I love that she's smart but mummy would like to be just a teeny bit smarter!

  31. Dave says:

    ‘Laughing My Bum Face Off’ will always be associated with Sticky Fingers in my mind. It would crack me up if it took off on this little corner of the blogosphere. Potty Mummy must be as barmy as we are :)Potty Mummy: I’ve already managed to slip a LMBFO into the comments at BlogToFit, but I don’t think anyone has noticed. 🙂

  32. Dave says:

    ‘Laughing My Bum Face Off’ will always be associated with Sticky Fingers in my mind. It would crack me up if it took off on this little corner of the blogosphere. Potty Mummy must be as barmy as we are :)Potty Mummy: I’ve already managed to slip a LMBFO into the comments at BlogToFit, but I don’t think anyone has noticed. 🙂

  33. Tara says:

    @ Britoutofwater: Ah yes, the golden oldies are always the best! (and now I'm going to store that away to use at a later date. Thanks for the reminder!)

  34. Tara says:

    @ Britoutofwater: Ah yes, the golden oldies are always the best! (and now I'm going to store that away to use at a later date. Thanks for the reminder!)

  35. Tara says:

    @Dave: Gasp! You've used ‘Laughing My Bum Face Off’ somewhere else? I'm hunting it down right now!

  36. Tara says:

    @Dave: Gasp! You've used ‘Laughing My Bum Face Off’ somewhere else? I'm hunting it down right now!

  37. Dave – you are a wally, you do make me laugh (not my bum face off though)Tara – Mia is so funny too. I always use bum cream on everything too, it's like miracle juice, I swear!

  38. Tara says:

    @CTTF: Bum cream IS miracle juice isn't it? I've actually used it on hubby when he's had an angry spot he wanted dealing with (but I told him it was antiseptic cream – i wasn't lying was I!)

  39. Tony says:

    I must be a dumb bum because at first I was thinking "what's a bum" then I realized what it was. Please tell me you're not going to start changing the names of other things likesoccer -> footballfrench fries -> chipschips -> crispswhatever you do – don't take away our Harry Potter.

  40. Vodka Mom says:

    omg I am laughing my fucking ass off right now!!!!!! I can't stop laughing. Pass the butt cream, please.

  41. that girl? says:

    Bless her – she's going to be a beauty product addict too – wonder where she gets that from?! What would be good is if I could transfer some of the excess collagen from my bum into the fine lines on the forehead! I'm sure there is a procedure out there but a) it would be nasty and painful and b) It would really make me an arse face.

  42. Tara says:

    @Tony: What, are you nuts? Soccer? Pah! And hello, chips are hot fried pototoes strips NOT a bag of crisps.Oh lordy, don't get the British started on that line of thought!@ Vodka Mom: Don't you mean laughing your bum face off (LMBFO)? It's spreading fast. @That Girl?: If she becomes a product junkie like her mum she'd better get a bloody well paid job!And if all you have is fine lines on your forehead as you're careering toward 40 then either you have fabulous genes or you spend every spare penny you can on 'miracle' creams too!

  43. that girl? says:

    No fabulous genes…. just oily skin! Not great when you still get the odd spot at 39… oh and open pores that take some disguising!

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