The alternative nursery rhymes


My children absolutely love singing in the car (I wouldn’t inflict it on anyone else, so the privacy of the car is perfect).

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Humpty Dumpty and Happy Birthday (usually to Bagpuss, Barney or Kermit) and we have great fun singing at the tops of our voices and laughing at the faces of other drivers looking at us in amusement.
I have actually since realised that it’s me they’re laughing out as the blacked windows are only in the back of the car and I’m on full view for all to see . . .

But just lately our songs have changed. I don’t know who is teaching them these new versions of the old classics but the children think they are hilarious. They are the ‘alternative nursery rhymes’.

“Sing Twinkle Twinkle Chocolate Bar” they beg.
“Sing the banana Humpty Dumpty.”
I have no idea what they are talking about, so I ask at nursery.
And, for any parents in the same unchartered boat as me, here are the lyrics:

Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
My dad drives a rusty car
Start the engine, pull the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
My dad drives a rusty car

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Eating black bananas
Where d’you think he put all the skins?
Down the king’s pyjamas

You’re welcome

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